Gotcha Day!

Tomorrow my husband and I will celebrate the children's gotcha day. Gotcha day for those of you who haven't adopted is the day you finalized the child's adoption and you officially "got" them. But for my husband and I, it is the day we "found" our children.
Three years ago we were living in an apartment in Kiev waiting to go back to the Adoption Center and look at all of the books of orphans. Ukraine had the policy that you do not preselect a child to adopt, you find them when in the country.
A date is set and you go with your translator to the Government Adoption Center and meet with a psychologist and look at photos and books from orphanages to select a child to see. You then travel usually by train to the city where the orphanage is and visit the child. You then decide if you would like to adopt the child. If not, back to the Adoption Center in Kiev and back to the books.
We had been in Kiev and selected a 2 year old boy to see. We traveled all night on the train and met with the director of the orphanage to arrange to see the child. I was so excited, scared, eager but when we went to his room we found a very sick, disabled and weak boy. I held him and cried. I was open to adopting a child with many disabilities but this child was not for us. This child needed 24 hour care for the rest of his life and I couldn't do it. I knew this was not to be my son. I still think about this little boy and pray he is cared for and loved.
After returning to Kiev and meeting again with the Adoption Center we were shown a photo of another little boy who had just turned 3. The photo was him in a crib with the saddest look I had ever seen on a child. We said we would see him. Since we had hoped to adopt 2 children, I told them to show me the girls available. Even though it is difficult to find a girl, I knew I wanted to complete out family with a girl and I wanted my husband to have a girl to love and to adore him. We searched but I didn't get any feelings of wanting to see any child until the back of the book one of the last pages was a photo of an infant girl. She was 20 months old now but sick, blind and probably retarded. She was most likely a child of fetal German measles. They encouraged us to skip her but my heart went out to her.
The next day we left by train. The Sunny Orphanage had 300 children 0-3 years old and from what we saw they were very poor. I have traveled a lot in my life but Ukraine was poor.
We met with little Vladdy first, shy with big brown eyes. Small and non -verbal. This sad little boy came to us and I knew that he was meant to be our son.
Later we went to another building to see Masha. They brought her out to the waiting room and I started to weep. A blond pale child with scabs and sores all over her face and body (allergies and exzema) a blind small right eye and low vision left eye and it was evident that this little child couldn't see. But, I knew she was my daughter. Even when my husband said are you sure and the translators said we can find you a better one I knew that she was meant to be ours.
There is so much more I could say, the whole trip and month spent in Ukraine is a book waiting to be written. But tomorrow is the day-Halloween, when we found our children and to me it will always be their Gotcha Day.

Site changes

There will be a few changes to the site. The login for existing members is now a new link at the bottom of the home page.
I have listened to the suggestions for registration and those are in the works. I want the registration process to be quick, easy and painless.
Any other suggestion you have please email me. I am always open to new ideas.

The most perfect day.

Did you ever have one of those most perfect days. I did today. The kids were good in church, they didn't fight all day, even at the pumpkin farm.
The weather was my favorite. A sunny fall day at peak fall colors with a slight breeze. Winter jacket weather but not too cold.
We visited grandma and grandpa after Mass.
Then, after the pumpkin farm and bouncy houses and pony rides, we carved pumpkins and baked pumpkin seeds. We ate caramel apples after supper and still the kids are great. I am very lucky.

Moms from tiny towns

Right now the kids are watching SpongeBob and the hubby is working late. I have had such a busy week that I don't have the time or energy to play games or do something educational with the kids tonight, and of course they are perfectly happy to veg while I work on the computer.
We have a fair at Hamilton HS tomorrow morning to support the Cultural Exchange Club which my niece is in charge of. The kids go to a pumpkin farm with an auntie and I get some down time. Maybe a good chick movie on LMN or Sell House Marathon. I think it's been months since I've had a few hours alone. Yippy!!! I'm looking forward to the Shop till you Drop at Willow Springs in November so that I can register lots of Sussex, Falls, Brookfield and assorted Lake Country moms.

I've had a run of moms registering from tiny, tiny, towns. You know who you are:) The hardest job for me is to find exchange moms for these gals. I have started to write the elementary schools in the town to share the Mommy Time concept and offer brochures and specials so that these moms can find time off.
I just started this but it is helping in some smaller California and Texas towns so I'll keep it up for all moms from more rural areas.

What is a mom like me?

I had a question from a mom who wondered what a mom like me was. Was it "code" for rich and professional?

I told her that I meant it to be a reflection of my home and parenting skills. We are all different in parenting. Ever go to a sports event and see some screaming mom and wonder where she came from? I was recently told that healthy snacks are preferred at school to celebrate birthdays. They recommended rice cakes. What??? These are kids and a rice cake doesn't celebrate anything . I sent fruit snacks. Evil mom.

When I moved to my home 12 years ago, it was an old farm house with wonderful gardens surrounded by corn fields. Now, I am the shabby farm house surrounded by new construction and a golf course community.
Now I have nothing against development but now I look poor by the neighborhood standards. I used to look cute.
My neighbors may think I'm poor and I'm not a mom like them. That would be their loss. I'm a great mom.
Since I have a special needs children, I sometimes think other moms won't understand when my son looks weird or his pants are wet.
I'd like a mom who understands PTSD and RAD and understands what strong sitting is.
My daughter is blind in one eye and I'd like a mom who understands it's ok when she bumps into everything on her right side because she can't see and she is bossy and loud and sometimes a little weird.

A mom like me is a mom who parents like me. Laid back but firm and kind. Non-smoking but not judgmental if you smoke outside.
I want a mom who will give a kid a treat they want and not worry that they will get fat because they play outside and stay active and kids should not worry about those things any way.
I want a mom who understands that kids get dirty. And so do homes with kids.
I want a mom who understands that kids need jobs to feel useful. Just like Thomas the Train! Empty the dishwasher or fold the towels. Give them something to feel important.
A mom like me isn't rich or poor, she just has to parent in a way that I am comfortable with, because this, really , is all that is important.