Roller coaster of Christmas

My son has been on the roller coaster of Christmas emotions; loving one minute but mostly confused, hypervigilant and destructive. We work everyday to keep him home by keeping US safe. After a really crappy week of violent outbursts, fecal drawing and fighting for control, today was nice. He listened, was respectful, played alone and didn't bother his sister and even took care of his evening hygiene without a mess. I am blessed today.

Mass School Suspends Child For Drawing Crucifix

Mass School Suspends Child For Drawing Crucifix


Have we come to a point when a Catholic child can not draw a picture of a crucifix without needing a psychological exam? I pray for this poor family. Schools need to get real and use a little common sense.

Late night.

Today was one of those crazy days. I left for work at 6 am, visited my in laws for supper and  help with some physical cares ( my mother in law is in her mid 80's and has Alzheimer's) then off to school for my last class of the semester...yea! A long day but I need to be away and use my mind and help others to feel stronger. Make sense? Hubby stayed home and is wonderful and even more patient than me. He put our son to bed early for disrespect and hitting. I tucked him in at 9 pm since he had fallen asleep on the bed with clothes on. No pull-up on so lots of laundry to anticipate.

I have to work again tomorrow so off to bed.

Snow Day

Well, we got through the night. After raging a few hours my son passed out. I covered him up, kissed him and shut the door and set his alarm. He can't live here with us without an alarm. I would never be able to sleep and none of us would be safe.

Today was a snow day! The kids were thrilled and I was glad that it was my day off. As a nurse there is never a snow day and even though I drive 30 miles to work, I would have to make it in. Instead I got a day to catch up with a little homework, make hot tea for the kids, watch my hubby shovel us out. 12 " of snow. Heavy wet snow. Now as a born and bred upper Midwesterner, I love my snow, especially the first few storms. Just like everyone else here I get really sick of it by March and hate those late May snows or freezes. Well, what do I expect; I live in Wisconsin.

My daughter had a blast outside and then she took her new Rip Stick board in the basement to practice-my little jock.

My son tried to play outside but just ended up trying to hurt his sister, threw snow at daddy while he was snow blowing-unsafe. So he won the big lottery, mommy time wit me...all day and I'm exhausted. Let's see, he pulled my hair, tried to scare me repeatedly, made a mess every where and finished it of by defecating in his pants and making such a mess trying to clean up I finally did it myself. I then got to bleach down half the house.

He did sit next to me late this evening for a while and even put his head on my shoulder for about 15 seconds before calling me a jerk. He finally put him to bed at 7pm when he screamed in my ear. And I wonder why I have tinnitus? He raged a few minutes and knew I wasn't going to bye the "I'm sorry"  and "I didn't mean it" and after a few more choice words he settled and went to bed.

A new therapist

Today was day one with a new therapist. This time I decided to work with a woman,; our last 2 therapist were men.

I am also considering a new psychiatrist.

Anyway, This is the first time I didn't go in with my son. After an hour he emerged and therapist said it was a great first meeting. Well....It must have stirred up some good strong feelings because he was digging out poop and drawing on the walls for me tonight. He also hit, spit kicked and pulled my hair.

I am almost considering a hospital stay  for respite for hubby and I. And I hate psych hospitals for kids. I think they are expensive glorified day care and my son comes home sicker than before and learns even better profanity and gang signs...yeah ;(

I'll try to keep him safe and quiet tomorrow, I think we will be having a snow day.

Older adoption

My sons birth brother has contacted us. We found him 2 years ago but we were not in the emotional position to adopt him as we were in the throes of dealing with the hardest times with our sons RAD; including 2 hospitalizations.

We are now not in a financial position to help adopt him.

He has asked and I don't know what to do. My heart is large enough for him but my wallet is empty.

Please add him to your prayers and help us decide how to best help him.

Happy Thanksgiving

The kids are in bed. A rough evening but now all is well in the world. I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving.

Quiet night

Everyone is sleeping...all is quiet. Baby boy found a sharpie marker and proceeded to scribble all over his bedroom wall, mattress, pillow, and body because he way angry. I calmly handed him a Magic Eraser (they truly are magic, I love them) and told him  to start cleaning. He later snuggled with me.

But now I'm the only one up and all is quiet on the RAD front...for tonight :)

Incredible

It is just incredible. For the last 2 days my son has been almost normal. Yes, there is still sibling rivalry that goes on but not too much of the Raddy behavior. A few broken pencils and one short outburst after school but I thank God for days like this.

My hubby's work is winding down and my school and work schedule are not overly busy, maybe he is just reacting to our relaxed behavior. I have to stop over analyzing and just relish the moment.

The complexities of RAD

Here is a photo of our  pumpkins this past Halloween.  Between the four of us: Hubby, myself, my son and daughter guess which one has RAD.

Following the leader

I have been reading a lot of RAD blogs lately. As things act up in our home, I am curious about how other families cope.  One thing is clear, patience, patience, patience!

Anxiety driven RAD

My RAD baby boy is anxiety driven, picking his skin until bleeding, hitting his head and obsessively calling out you-ee you-ee you-ee. I found another feces filled diaper under his dresser this morning where he was on a time out after hitting his sister.  He can't take my affection for more than a few seconds, that RAD creeping up and covering his heart. I hug him and kiss his cheek and all of a sudden I feel a tenseness and he sticks his face in mine or pulls my hair or says "you stink'; all intended to push me away.

Bleach time

My Baby boy is raging again. We tried to cuddle tonight for a few minutes and he became very restless, starting picking his scabs open and ended up wiping feces on his door and wiping himself with the cream colored shower curtain. He just wants us to reject him, push him away or hurt him. I tell him he is safe and loved. He still doesn't believe me.

Send in the clowns

I haven't posted for a long time. Thing have been difficult the last year. Hubby and I are fine but the kids are challenging. My son has been hospitalized and struggles daily. My daughter is finally talking about her birth mom.