I have requested a new IEP for my son. After reading this article about IEP meetings, I feel that I can approach the team with open ears and be an advocate for my son.
I feel that I am realistic of his needs and I look forward to the results of his assessment.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Chicago visit
Hubby and I took the kids to Chicago today for a day trip. The ride is only 1 1/2 hours and it was such a nice day today. Perfect for a road trip. I wanted to show my children the "old " neighborhood. I wanted to show they where mommy went to school. I showed my kindergarten at Immaculate Heart of Mary Parish.
Now, I haven't been in this area for years and all of my family has long since moved to the suburbs, but I felt quite nostalgic. I remember the streets, the church, my old home on Kimball.
We took a skyline photo of my daughter with her Troll for school. We ate lunch in the Ukrainian Village. (20th and Chicago Ave.) and we had a nice walk down some lovely streets.
All in all, a very nice day.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Half Day School
We are starting a new routine at home. After meeting with my son's teachers and principle, we have decided to change his schedule to half days.
He stays home with me in the morning and we work on his handwriting and simple math skills. He will continue to receive speech. I will then bring him to school afternoons so that he will be with his friends for 2 1/2 hours.
He won't have any bus rides or cafeteria time which is too noisy and stressful.
We just started so wish us luck.
Any homeschool sites that you recommend would be appreciated.
He stays home with me in the morning and we work on his handwriting and simple math skills. He will continue to receive speech. I will then bring him to school afternoons so that he will be with his friends for 2 1/2 hours.
He won't have any bus rides or cafeteria time which is too noisy and stressful.
We just started so wish us luck.
Any homeschool sites that you recommend would be appreciated.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Bonding
Here is a piece about bonding exercises. Special needs or not, all children can use more bonding.
Friday, December 01, 2006
Is homeschooling the way to go?
After a difficult day and little sleep, I have be wondering if homeschooling is the way to go for my son. Even though I feel and know that he is stronger everyday, school is a major stress for him. From the bus ride to a noisy lunch room to friendship difficulties, he finds it at time overwhelming. Today when I picked him up, he was wet, poopy and looked in such obvious distress. It took all night, a long bath and much cuddles to get him to make eye contact.
If school causes such distress, maybe he needs to stay home with me this year. One more year to develop emotionally. One more year to find his place in our world.
This is one big decision.
If school causes such distress, maybe he needs to stay home with me this year. One more year to develop emotionally. One more year to find his place in our world.
This is one big decision.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Post-Institutionalized children
I read this article about post-institutionalized children and agree with much of it.
Common sense is best. Stay with your children. Let them first bond with you. Don't over stimulate them. Life in an orphanages is very different than life in the US. Walking through the grocery store with my young children the first time was disturbing to them. Too much noise, lights, things to see. We are a nation of stuff and these kids have had nothing.
Baby them. Many of them never had a mommy to pick them up, coo to them and hold the bottle. These children were left in cribs to cry and a bottle was propped. My six year old still loves a baby toy that when pulled sings rock a bye baby. He still likes a warm milk and sugar sippy cup given to him by me like a bottle. My 4 year old still likes to have me put her in a sling. And at 38 lbs. she fits, but it's hard on my back. But she has such joy on her face to be held like a baby, I can't resist. I really encourage baby wearing for your adopted children and all children.
Common sense is best. Stay with your children. Let them first bond with you. Don't over stimulate them. Life in an orphanages is very different than life in the US. Walking through the grocery store with my young children the first time was disturbing to them. Too much noise, lights, things to see. We are a nation of stuff and these kids have had nothing.
Baby them. Many of them never had a mommy to pick them up, coo to them and hold the bottle. These children were left in cribs to cry and a bottle was propped. My six year old still loves a baby toy that when pulled sings rock a bye baby. He still likes a warm milk and sugar sippy cup given to him by me like a bottle. My 4 year old still likes to have me put her in a sling. And at 38 lbs. she fits, but it's hard on my back. But she has such joy on her face to be held like a baby, I can't resist. I really encourage baby wearing for your adopted children and all children.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Giving Thanks
I hope everone had a memorable Thanksgiving. We went to one of my sister's and it was a very nice day. Beautiful weather, kids in great moods, delicious food and good company.
I use to find holidays difficult and stressful because of increased behavior problems of my son. But now that he has resolved much of his anger or maybe just learned to trust, we are having such nice visits and I don't worry that we can only stay one hour before a scene erupts.
I'm glad to see that he wants to play with his sister and cousins. I'm thrilled we aren't having such bad eating/ food / control issues.
I'm thankful for good therapists, teachers, family and God for helping my son feel happiness and maybe even love.
I'm thankful for a strong, wonderful husband who takes such good care of us.
I'm thankful for a joy of a daughter.
I'm thankful for a family who supports us with love and time.
I use to find holidays difficult and stressful because of increased behavior problems of my son. But now that he has resolved much of his anger or maybe just learned to trust, we are having such nice visits and I don't worry that we can only stay one hour before a scene erupts.
I'm glad to see that he wants to play with his sister and cousins. I'm thrilled we aren't having such bad eating/ food / control issues.
I'm thankful for good therapists, teachers, family and God for helping my son feel happiness and maybe even love.
I'm thankful for a strong, wonderful husband who takes such good care of us.
I'm thankful for a joy of a daughter.
I'm thankful for a family who supports us with love and time.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Winter is here???
After the wonderful warm weather we had this week, it looks like we have an early taste of winter. Hubby is asking to move south again. 33 degrees and ice and snow make him start his refrain. "Let's go somewhere warm"
I can't stand this weather" I think he is starting to wear me down. He certainly has the kids convinced that there is a magical place to live where it's always warm. Yesterday my daughter asked me why I want to stay here (Wisconsin) and I replied"It's where my family is , honey" I have 2 parents and 7 brother and sisters here in Wisconsin. Numerous cousins and aunts in the Chicago area where I was born. It feels like home.
But my daughter wise to her 4 years replied, "But I'm your family and George and Daddy and Bailey (Our dog).
I can't see where warm weather makes a life better, maybe more comfortable but not better or richer in spirit. But I am wearing down a bit. And bitter cold early winter weather doesn't help.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Fall is here
After a great day in warm 60's weather, I was able to clean up my flower beds and put my garden to rest for the year. I enjoy this part of gardening. I get a sense of completeness. After all of the work of spring and summer to enjoy the gardens I have, I now get to cut everything back and we both can rest. Today it is the normal weather, 40's, and I can sit at the window with a cup of tea and look at everything tidy and ready for winter.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Election Day
To all moms who haven't voted yet, I ask you to try and get to the polls. I don't care how you vote (Well maybe I do, but that doesn't matter)
I ask you to find the time, drag the kids with you and vote. Whether you feel this election is a referendum on the Bush administration, you are angry with the dems or you are voting to have a say in the referendums in your individual state, please vote.
When I went out to vote this morning, my daughter was at my feet behind the curtain of the voting booth, yes, it's distracting but I want her to see that mom votes on election day. She and her brother hear my husband and I discuss the issues and I want them to see that everyone has a voice in our government.
I ask you to find the time, drag the kids with you and vote. Whether you feel this election is a referendum on the Bush administration, you are angry with the dems or you are voting to have a say in the referendums in your individual state, please vote.
When I went out to vote this morning, my daughter was at my feet behind the curtain of the voting booth, yes, it's distracting but I want her to see that mom votes on election day. She and her brother hear my husband and I discuss the issues and I want them to see that everyone has a voice in our government.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Gotcha Day!
Tomorrow my husband and I will celebrate the children's gotcha day. Gotcha day for those of you who haven't adopted is the day you finalized the child's adoption and you officially "got" them. But for my husband and I, it is the day we "found" our children.
Three years ago we were living in an apartment in Kiev waiting to go back to the Adoption Center and look at all of the books of orphans. Ukraine had the policy that you do not preselect a child to adopt, you find them when in the country.
A date is set and you go with your translator to the Government Adoption Center and meet with a psychologist and look at photos and books from orphanages to select a child to see. You then travel usually by train to the city where the orphanage is and visit the child. You then decide if you would like to adopt the child. If not, back to the Adoption Center in Kiev and back to the books.
We had been in Kiev and selected a 2 year old boy to see. We traveled all night on the train and met with the director of the orphanage to arrange to see the child. I was so excited, scared, eager but when we went to his room we found a very sick, disabled and weak boy. I held him and cried. I was open to adopting a child with many disabilities but this child was not for us. This child needed 24 hour care for the rest of his life and I couldn't do it. I knew this was not to be my son. I still think about this little boy and pray he is cared for and loved.
After returning to Kiev and meeting again with the Adoption Center we were shown a photo of another little boy who had just turned 3. The photo was him in a crib with the saddest look I had ever seen on a child. We said we would see him. Since we had hoped to adopt 2 children, I told them to show me the girls available. Even though it is difficult to find a girl, I knew I wanted to complete out family with a girl and I wanted my husband to have a girl to love and to adore him. We searched but I didn't get any feelings of wanting to see any child until the back of the book one of the last pages was a photo of an infant girl. She was 20 months old now but sick, blind and probably retarded. She was most likely a child of fetal German measles. They encouraged us to skip her but my heart went out to her.
The next day we left by train. The Sunny Orphanage had 300 children 0-3 years old and from what we saw they were very poor. I have traveled a lot in my life but Ukraine was poor.
We met with little Vladdy first, shy with big brown eyes. Small and non -verbal. This sad little boy came to us and I knew that he was meant to be our son.
Later we went to another building to see Masha. They brought her out to the waiting room and I started to weep. A blond pale child with scabs and sores all over her face and body (allergies and exzema) a blind small right eye and low vision left eye and it was evident that this little child couldn't see. But, I knew she was my daughter. Even when my husband said are you sure and the translators said we can find you a better one I knew that she was meant to be ours.
There is so much more I could say, the whole trip and month spent in Ukraine is a book waiting to be written. But tomorrow is the day-Halloween, when we found our children and to me it will always be their Gotcha Day.
Three years ago we were living in an apartment in Kiev waiting to go back to the Adoption Center and look at all of the books of orphans. Ukraine had the policy that you do not preselect a child to adopt, you find them when in the country.
A date is set and you go with your translator to the Government Adoption Center and meet with a psychologist and look at photos and books from orphanages to select a child to see. You then travel usually by train to the city where the orphanage is and visit the child. You then decide if you would like to adopt the child. If not, back to the Adoption Center in Kiev and back to the books.
We had been in Kiev and selected a 2 year old boy to see. We traveled all night on the train and met with the director of the orphanage to arrange to see the child. I was so excited, scared, eager but when we went to his room we found a very sick, disabled and weak boy. I held him and cried. I was open to adopting a child with many disabilities but this child was not for us. This child needed 24 hour care for the rest of his life and I couldn't do it. I knew this was not to be my son. I still think about this little boy and pray he is cared for and loved.
After returning to Kiev and meeting again with the Adoption Center we were shown a photo of another little boy who had just turned 3. The photo was him in a crib with the saddest look I had ever seen on a child. We said we would see him. Since we had hoped to adopt 2 children, I told them to show me the girls available. Even though it is difficult to find a girl, I knew I wanted to complete out family with a girl and I wanted my husband to have a girl to love and to adore him. We searched but I didn't get any feelings of wanting to see any child until the back of the book one of the last pages was a photo of an infant girl. She was 20 months old now but sick, blind and probably retarded. She was most likely a child of fetal German measles. They encouraged us to skip her but my heart went out to her.
The next day we left by train. The Sunny Orphanage had 300 children 0-3 years old and from what we saw they were very poor. I have traveled a lot in my life but Ukraine was poor.
We met with little Vladdy first, shy with big brown eyes. Small and non -verbal. This sad little boy came to us and I knew that he was meant to be our son.
Later we went to another building to see Masha. They brought her out to the waiting room and I started to weep. A blond pale child with scabs and sores all over her face and body (allergies and exzema) a blind small right eye and low vision left eye and it was evident that this little child couldn't see. But, I knew she was my daughter. Even when my husband said are you sure and the translators said we can find you a better one I knew that she was meant to be ours.
There is so much more I could say, the whole trip and month spent in Ukraine is a book waiting to be written. But tomorrow is the day-Halloween, when we found our children and to me it will always be their Gotcha Day.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Site changes
There will be a few changes to the site. The login for existing members is now a new link at the bottom of the home page.
I have listened to the suggestions for registration and those are in the works. I want the registration process to be quick, easy and painless.
Any other suggestion you have please email me. I am always open to new ideas.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
The most perfect day.
Did you ever have one of those most perfect days. I did today. The kids were good in church, they didn't fight all day, even at the pumpkin farm.
The weather was my favorite. A sunny fall day at peak fall colors with a slight breeze. Winter jacket weather but not too cold.
We visited grandma and grandpa after Mass.
Then, after the pumpkin farm and bouncy houses and pony rides, we carved pumpkins and baked pumpkin seeds. We ate caramel apples after supper and still the kids are great. I am very lucky.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Moms from tiny towns
Right now the kids are watching SpongeBob and the hubby is working late. I have had such a busy week that I don't have the time or energy to play games or do something educational with the kids tonight, and of course they are perfectly happy to veg while I work on the computer.
We have a fair at Hamilton HS tomorrow morning to support the Cultural Exchange Club which my niece is in charge of. The kids go to a pumpkin farm with an auntie and I get some down time. Maybe a good chick movie on LMN or Sell House Marathon. I think it's been months since I've had a few hours alone. Yippy!!! I'm looking forward to the Shop till you Drop at Willow Springs in November so that I can register lots of Sussex, Falls, Brookfield and assorted Lake Country moms.
I've had a run of moms registering from tiny, tiny, towns. You know who you are:) The hardest job for me is to find exchange moms for these gals. I have started to write the elementary schools in the town to share the Mommy Time concept and offer brochures and specials so that these moms can find time off.
I just started this but it is helping in some smaller California and Texas towns so I'll keep it up for all moms from more rural areas.
We have a fair at Hamilton HS tomorrow morning to support the Cultural Exchange Club which my niece is in charge of. The kids go to a pumpkin farm with an auntie and I get some down time. Maybe a good chick movie on LMN or Sell House Marathon. I think it's been months since I've had a few hours alone. Yippy!!! I'm looking forward to the Shop till you Drop at Willow Springs in November so that I can register lots of Sussex, Falls, Brookfield and assorted Lake Country moms.
I've had a run of moms registering from tiny, tiny, towns. You know who you are:) The hardest job for me is to find exchange moms for these gals. I have started to write the elementary schools in the town to share the Mommy Time concept and offer brochures and specials so that these moms can find time off.
I just started this but it is helping in some smaller California and Texas towns so I'll keep it up for all moms from more rural areas.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
What is a mom like me?
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I had a question from a mom who wondered what a mom like me was. Was it "code" for rich and professional?
I told her that I meant it to be a reflection of my home and parenting skills. We are all different in parenting. Ever go to a sports event and see some screaming mom and wonder where she came from? I was recently told that healthy snacks are preferred at school to celebrate birthdays. They recommended rice cakes. What??? These are kids and a rice cake doesn't celebrate anything . I sent fruit snacks. Evil mom.
When I moved to my home 12 years ago, it was an old farm house with wonderful gardens surrounded by corn fields. Now, I am the shabby farm house surrounded by new construction and a golf course community.
Now I have nothing against development but now I look poor by the neighborhood standards. I used to look cute.
My neighbors may think I'm poor and I'm not a mom like them. That would be their loss. I'm a great mom.
Since I have a special needs children, I sometimes think other moms won't understand when my son looks weird or his pants are wet.
I'd like a mom who understands PTSD and RAD and understands what strong sitting is.
My daughter is blind in one eye and I'd like a mom who understands it's ok when she bumps into everything on her right side because she can't see and she is bossy and loud and sometimes a little weird.
A mom like me is a mom who parents like me. Laid back but firm and kind. Non-smoking but not judgmental if you smoke outside.
I want a mom who will give a kid a treat they want and not worry that they will get fat because they play outside and stay active and kids should not worry about those things any way.
I want a mom who understands that kids get dirty. And so do homes with kids.
I want a mom who understands that kids need jobs to feel useful. Just like Thomas the Train! Empty the dishwasher or fold the towels. Give them something to feel important.
A mom like me isn't rich or poor, she just has to parent in a way that I am comfortable with, because this, really , is all that is important.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
New changes to the Mommy Time site.
There are a few changes to the Mommy Time site I need to share.
A lot of work has been done to make the site work easier. The submit button is easier and the registration process is easy to understand.
A new leaf was added to the home page flower graphic with a PDF of the Mommy Time Flyer. Anyone can now print the flyer if you would like to post it around town, share with friends and co-workers or bring to a moms club.
Remember to add the coupon code to the flyer so that anyone you share it with can take advantage of an inexpensive registration. This is all part of our word of mouth campaign and it's working great. I have tripled the amount of moms who are signing up each day and we are now in 21 states and reaching more moms every day.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Night time ramblings...
I haven't had much time to write, the kids are in school and having trouble adjusting. At bedtime, they both need extra cuddles and tell me that they don't get enough mommy love. My daughter asked if she could quit school and just stay home and sit on my lap all day. Of course, tomorrow I will tell her it's ok, she can sit on my lap all day and she will, for about 30 minutes and then want to play baseball outside or Go Fish.
And I really want the kids to be outside, it's getting colder and before you know it winter will be here. Ok, I hear you San Diego moms, what winter? Well some of us do have a winter and a *** long one , too.
Hubby would love to move me down south or at least somewhere without snow. We took a drive last year and we looked at other states. But I come from a family of 10 and everyone lives within 30 minutes of each other and I can't see living away from my parents and sisters (7) and 1 brother.
Besides, I like 4 seasons and I don't mind the snow. I just get tired of 6 months of cold weather. 3 would be better. A gal I met at school is from Virginia and said it has the best weather, 4 seasons but very mild. But my life without being around my family would be difficult. I'm rambling...
A note about Mommy Time. I have started Google Ads and it has been fantastic. I am getting a tremendous response and I'm advertising in every state where we have registered moms. The WOM campaign is going great and a few moms have asked me to send brochures so that they can share with their children's school.
Email me if you need a brochure. I can email you a flyer if you prefer.
Register here if you aren't a member.
And I really want the kids to be outside, it's getting colder and before you know it winter will be here. Ok, I hear you San Diego moms, what winter? Well some of us do have a winter and a *** long one , too.
Hubby would love to move me down south or at least somewhere without snow. We took a drive last year and we looked at other states. But I come from a family of 10 and everyone lives within 30 minutes of each other and I can't see living away from my parents and sisters (7) and 1 brother.
Besides, I like 4 seasons and I don't mind the snow. I just get tired of 6 months of cold weather. 3 would be better. A gal I met at school is from Virginia and said it has the best weather, 4 seasons but very mild. But my life without being around my family would be difficult. I'm rambling...
A note about Mommy Time. I have started Google Ads and it has been fantastic. I am getting a tremendous response and I'm advertising in every state where we have registered moms. The WOM campaign is going great and a few moms have asked me to send brochures so that they can share with their children's school.
Email me if you need a brochure. I can email you a flyer if you prefer.
Register here if you aren't a member.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Mommy Time is growing.
I had a mom ask me how many moms have registered. I told her a few hundred so far. I think that's great since we have only been online a few weeks and this concept is being promoted mainly by word of mouth. I register a few moms every day. It's funny, at first it was the Midwest, Milwaukee, Chicago, Minneapolis that registered in droves. Those areas have slowed down and the east and west coast have taken over. I really don't advertise on the east coast but enough moms told friends and now I get a flood of moms from the northeast.
What I and what most of the moms who email me want is a large database of moms who would be willing to exchange child care if there are local moms available that are like them. No mom is going to drive 40 min. Even if it is a free babysitter. We need a large database of moms every where who can help each other out.
What I want to do and what I am committed to, is the growth of this site so that we can offer moms the Mommy Time they need.
I haven't figured out the best way to reach moms. The Parent Magazine ads are reaching one audience, free classified sites like CL and postaroo are reaching some moms.
But the strongest, most powerful, spreading like lightening way to reach moms is through you! Your sending a letter to your email list asking if anyone wants to join.
I'll keep the registration cheap (coupon MOM, WOM), you send me your friends.
And I promise to keep the info private and never sell out to anyone, if you will trust me with your children's names.
Email about anything
Register here!
What I and what most of the moms who email me want is a large database of moms who would be willing to exchange child care if there are local moms available that are like them. No mom is going to drive 40 min. Even if it is a free babysitter. We need a large database of moms every where who can help each other out.
What I want to do and what I am committed to, is the growth of this site so that we can offer moms the Mommy Time they need.
I haven't figured out the best way to reach moms. The Parent Magazine ads are reaching one audience, free classified sites like CL and postaroo are reaching some moms.
But the strongest, most powerful, spreading like lightening way to reach moms is through you! Your sending a letter to your email list asking if anyone wants to join.
I'll keep the registration cheap (coupon MOM, WOM), you send me your friends.
And I promise to keep the info private and never sell out to anyone, if you will trust me with your children's names.
Email about anything
Register here!
Friday, September 22, 2006
They grow up too fast
I was thinking about how school changes everything about my life. I was so into the summer routine. The snack time, outside time, books and games were all at a nice routine that made my children happy and worked well for my schedule.
Now my son is in kindergarten all day and my daughter is in K4 every afternoon. I feel a little lost. I have 2 hours to work, clean & cook and I am a bit out of sorts. Did you ever feel like this?
It feels like they are growing up too fast and leaving me. I look at my daughter helping me in the kitchen and my heart stops, I want her to stay 4 forever. Since I'm an older mom I have friends with grown children. They say that the children do grow up too fast and that I should enjoy all of the attention, adoration and love that the littles ones give because when they are 16 they never talk to you.
I know that I wasn't the most delightful teenager ( It was the 70's) so I have nothing to complain about. I just have to hold these special moments with my little one's in my heart.
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