Gotcha Day!

Tomorrow my husband and I will celebrate the children's gotcha day. Gotcha day for those of you who haven't adopted is the day you finalized the child's adoption and you officially "got" them. But for my husband and I, it is the day we "found" our children.
Three years ago we were living in an apartment in Kiev waiting to go back to the Adoption Center and look at all of the books of orphans. Ukraine had the policy that you do not preselect a child to adopt, you find them when in the country.
A date is set and you go with your translator to the Government Adoption Center and meet with a psychologist and look at photos and books from orphanages to select a child to see. You then travel usually by train to the city where the orphanage is and visit the child. You then decide if you would like to adopt the child. If not, back to the Adoption Center in Kiev and back to the books.
We had been in Kiev and selected a 2 year old boy to see. We traveled all night on the train and met with the director of the orphanage to arrange to see the child. I was so excited, scared, eager but when we went to his room we found a very sick, disabled and weak boy. I held him and cried. I was open to adopting a child with many disabilities but this child was not for us. This child needed 24 hour care for the rest of his life and I couldn't do it. I knew this was not to be my son. I still think about this little boy and pray he is cared for and loved.
After returning to Kiev and meeting again with the Adoption Center we were shown a photo of another little boy who had just turned 3. The photo was him in a crib with the saddest look I had ever seen on a child. We said we would see him. Since we had hoped to adopt 2 children, I told them to show me the girls available. Even though it is difficult to find a girl, I knew I wanted to complete out family with a girl and I wanted my husband to have a girl to love and to adore him. We searched but I didn't get any feelings of wanting to see any child until the back of the book one of the last pages was a photo of an infant girl. She was 20 months old now but sick, blind and probably retarded. She was most likely a child of fetal German measles. They encouraged us to skip her but my heart went out to her.
The next day we left by train. The Sunny Orphanage had 300 children 0-3 years old and from what we saw they were very poor. I have traveled a lot in my life but Ukraine was poor.
We met with little Vladdy first, shy with big brown eyes. Small and non -verbal. This sad little boy came to us and I knew that he was meant to be our son.
Later we went to another building to see Masha. They brought her out to the waiting room and I started to weep. A blond pale child with scabs and sores all over her face and body (allergies and exzema) a blind small right eye and low vision left eye and it was evident that this little child couldn't see. But, I knew she was my daughter. Even when my husband said are you sure and the translators said we can find you a better one I knew that she was meant to be ours.
There is so much more I could say, the whole trip and month spent in Ukraine is a book waiting to be written. But tomorrow is the day-Halloween, when we found our children and to me it will always be their Gotcha Day.

Site changes

There will be a few changes to the site. The login for existing members is now a new link at the bottom of the home page.
I have listened to the suggestions for registration and those are in the works. I want the registration process to be quick, easy and painless.
Any other suggestion you have please email me. I am always open to new ideas.

The most perfect day.

Did you ever have one of those most perfect days. I did today. The kids were good in church, they didn't fight all day, even at the pumpkin farm.
The weather was my favorite. A sunny fall day at peak fall colors with a slight breeze. Winter jacket weather but not too cold.
We visited grandma and grandpa after Mass.
Then, after the pumpkin farm and bouncy houses and pony rides, we carved pumpkins and baked pumpkin seeds. We ate caramel apples after supper and still the kids are great. I am very lucky.

Moms from tiny towns

Right now the kids are watching SpongeBob and the hubby is working late. I have had such a busy week that I don't have the time or energy to play games or do something educational with the kids tonight, and of course they are perfectly happy to veg while I work on the computer.
We have a fair at Hamilton HS tomorrow morning to support the Cultural Exchange Club which my niece is in charge of. The kids go to a pumpkin farm with an auntie and I get some down time. Maybe a good chick movie on LMN or Sell House Marathon. I think it's been months since I've had a few hours alone. Yippy!!! I'm looking forward to the Shop till you Drop at Willow Springs in November so that I can register lots of Sussex, Falls, Brookfield and assorted Lake Country moms.

I've had a run of moms registering from tiny, tiny, towns. You know who you are:) The hardest job for me is to find exchange moms for these gals. I have started to write the elementary schools in the town to share the Mommy Time concept and offer brochures and specials so that these moms can find time off.
I just started this but it is helping in some smaller California and Texas towns so I'll keep it up for all moms from more rural areas.

What is a mom like me?

I had a question from a mom who wondered what a mom like me was. Was it "code" for rich and professional?

I told her that I meant it to be a reflection of my home and parenting skills. We are all different in parenting. Ever go to a sports event and see some screaming mom and wonder where she came from? I was recently told that healthy snacks are preferred at school to celebrate birthdays. They recommended rice cakes. What??? These are kids and a rice cake doesn't celebrate anything . I sent fruit snacks. Evil mom.

When I moved to my home 12 years ago, it was an old farm house with wonderful gardens surrounded by corn fields. Now, I am the shabby farm house surrounded by new construction and a golf course community.
Now I have nothing against development but now I look poor by the neighborhood standards. I used to look cute.
My neighbors may think I'm poor and I'm not a mom like them. That would be their loss. I'm a great mom.
Since I have a special needs children, I sometimes think other moms won't understand when my son looks weird or his pants are wet.
I'd like a mom who understands PTSD and RAD and understands what strong sitting is.
My daughter is blind in one eye and I'd like a mom who understands it's ok when she bumps into everything on her right side because she can't see and she is bossy and loud and sometimes a little weird.

A mom like me is a mom who parents like me. Laid back but firm and kind. Non-smoking but not judgmental if you smoke outside.
I want a mom who will give a kid a treat they want and not worry that they will get fat because they play outside and stay active and kids should not worry about those things any way.
I want a mom who understands that kids get dirty. And so do homes with kids.
I want a mom who understands that kids need jobs to feel useful. Just like Thomas the Train! Empty the dishwasher or fold the towels. Give them something to feel important.
A mom like me isn't rich or poor, she just has to parent in a way that I am comfortable with, because this, really , is all that is important.

New changes to the Mommy Time site.

There are a few changes to the Mommy Time site I need to share.
A lot of work has been done to make the site work easier. The submit button is easier and the registration process is easy to understand.

A new leaf was added to the home page flower graphic with a PDF of the Mommy Time Flyer. Anyone can now print the flyer if you would like to post it around town, share with friends and co-workers or bring to a moms club.
Remember to add the coupon code to the flyer so that anyone you share it with can take advantage of an inexpensive registration. This is all part of our word of mouth campaign and it's working great. I have tripled the amount of moms who are signing up each day and we are now in 21 states and reaching more moms every day.

Night time ramblings...

I haven't had much time to write, the kids are in school and having trouble adjusting. At bedtime, they both need extra cuddles and tell me that they don't get enough mommy love. My daughter asked if she could quit school and just stay home and sit on my lap all day. Of course, tomorrow I will tell her it's ok, she can sit on my lap all day and she will, for about 30 minutes and then want to play baseball outside or Go Fish.
And I really want the kids to be outside, it's getting colder and before you know it winter will be here. Ok, I hear you San Diego moms, what winter? Well some of us do have a winter and a *** long one , too.
Hubby would love to move me down south or at least somewhere without snow. We took a drive last year and we looked at other states. But I come from a family of 10 and everyone lives within 30 minutes of each other and I can't see living away from my parents and sisters (7) and 1 brother.
Besides, I like 4 seasons and I don't mind the snow. I just get tired of 6 months of cold weather. 3 would be better. A gal I met at school is from Virginia and said it has the best weather, 4 seasons but very mild. But my life without being around my family would be difficult. I'm rambling...

A note about Mommy Time. I have started Google Ads and it has been fantastic. I am getting a tremendous response and I'm advertising in every state where we have registered moms. The WOM campaign is going great and a few moms have asked me to send brochures so that they can share with their children's school.

Email me if you need a brochure. I can email you a flyer if you prefer.
Register here if you aren't a member.

Mommy Time is growing.

I had a mom ask me how many moms have registered. I told her a few hundred so far. I think that's great since we have only been online a few weeks and this concept is being promoted mainly by word of mouth. I register a few moms every day. It's funny, at first it was the Midwest, Milwaukee, Chicago, Minneapolis that registered in droves. Those areas have slowed down and the east and west coast have taken over. I really don't advertise on the east coast but enough moms told friends and now I get a flood of moms from the northeast.

What I and what most of the moms who email me want is a large database of moms who would be willing to exchange child care if there are local moms available that are like them. No mom is going to drive 40 min. Even if it is a free babysitter. We need a large database of moms every where who can help each other out.

What I want to do and what I am committed to, is the growth of this site so that we can offer moms the Mommy Time they need.
I haven't figured out the best way to reach moms. The Parent Magazine ads are reaching one audience, free classified sites like CL and postaroo are reaching some moms.

But the strongest, most powerful, spreading like lightening way to reach moms is through you! Your sending a letter to your email list asking if anyone wants to join.

I'll keep the registration cheap (coupon MOM, WOM), you send me your friends.

And I promise to keep the info private and never sell out to anyone, if you will trust me with your children's names.

Email about anything

Register here!

They grow up too fast

I was thinking about how school changes everything about my life. I was so into the summer routine. The snack time, outside time, books and games were all at a nice routine that made my children happy and worked well for my schedule.
Now my son is in kindergarten all day and my daughter is in K4 every afternoon. I feel a little lost. I have 2 hours to work, clean & cook and I am a bit out of sorts. Did you ever feel like this?
It feels like they are growing up too fast and leaving me. I look at my daughter helping me in the kitchen and my heart stops, I want her to stay 4 forever. Since I'm an older mom I have friends with grown children. They say that the children do grow up too fast and that I should enjoy all of the attention, adoration and love that the littles ones give because when they are 16 they never talk to you.
I know that I wasn't the most delightful teenager ( It was the 70's) so I have nothing to complain about. I just have to hold these special moments with my little one's in my heart.

Changes to the site.

We are making a few changes to the site. I hope to continue to change it until we get a great operating website.

The feedback and time log will now have more info about the individual moms.

The registration and payment pages will be separated. I have had complaints about a "sticky" submit button. If you are on the site and ANYTHING is problematic, let me know. I try to test everything but little things can slip by.

I'm adding a page with PDF pages that you can print. The first one will be the flyer on Mommy Time. You can then print and post at work, school, shopping.
I have new brochures on Mommy Time. If you would like me to send you a few, email me.
Where I live, my daughters K4 school is having a Shop till You Drop. This is a school fundraiser where any mom with a business can set up a table and promote their business. Ours is in November and I will have a MommyTime table to sign up Waukesha County moms. If anyone would like to do anything like this where you live , I would be glad to sponsor the table if you man it.
I will be registering with the WOM program so I expect a great response!

To join Mommy Time click here.
To email me click here.

Weekend promotion and birthday party.

We are having a weekend promotion for MommyTime. Register for $10.
The response to the ads in Metro Parent magazine have been good at bringing new moms to us. I also have been advertising on mommy blog and autism blog sites. This has been great.

My weekend has been busy with a birthday party for my son. 6 years old. Busy with family and the perfect weather for outdoor entertaining. (except for the bees)
What I want to know is, does a child really need so many toys? My husband and I talked about it last night and I think the best thing is for every new toy, he needs to give me an old one to donate. We live in an old farm house. Cozy and cute with small little rooms. I don't know where to put anymore toys? So my son is now overdosing on Thomas the Train toys, clothes and Bob the Builder tool belts and the Sussex women's SOS will be getting a box of old toys.

A mom who needs help.

Here is a mom who needs prayers and good wishes.

http://23weeks.blogspot.com/

How Mommy Time works

Mommy Time is a child care exchange or co-op. There have been co-op's for years, usually started by a moms club or school to assist in trading baby sitting so that a mom can have time to help at school or get things done that are difficult with children. I started Mommy Time because I got sick. Even though I had parents and sisters to help me, I was overwhelmed by the thought that other moms may not be so fortunate. Besides, I wouldn't mind a few hours each week to get away. Especially since I have a special needs child who's care at times has been exhausting. So I contacted a local web site provider and we put together the Mommy Time template and operation. The basic theme is find a mom like you so I want local moms to find other moms with a similar home. A mom who wants only organic wholesome foods wouldn't want to come to my home. Bless her, but I feed my kids anything. And I wouldn't want to have my kids go to a house with non-stop video game since I send my kids outside to play.
My goal is to find moms to help each other out anywhere it's needed. Small little up north towns or big cities. It will take a while for me to get the word out. I have a very limited ad budget but you can help me with ideas and feedback.

So here is how it works...

After you register your anme, address and answer family questions and you pay for registration. You now will get an email with a Welcome Letter and login information. Login and accept terms, fill in the names and ages of your spouse and children, click DONE. I will see this information and do the background check. Once this is complete you will have access to the secure area. Then when you login you can see the Mommy Time page. The site will list Moms per state and zip code. You will just have your name listed as "Mary Mom" or "Susan Mom" depending on your name. There will be small icons of a boy or girl with ages on them that show what children you have. There are also icons that describe your home, ie smoking, CPR, TV, Toys, etc. Remember those questions I asked you when you registered. This will tell another Mom, is there smoking in your home? Do you let the kids watch TV? Do you have pets? Do you know CPR? Do you have a child with special needs? and what kind?This will help the other Moms decide if they want to contact you. Moms will also have an availability button to turn on or off. Available means that you may be contacted, not that you are available this minute. It just means that you are open to communication with another Mom. Availability off means don't bother me. Maybe you just had surgery and need a few weeks without an exchange. Maybe you are on vacation. If a Mom wants to contact you,they will email you, you give them a tele# or email back and talk. You are getting to know each other. Once you both feel compatible, set up a time for you to have your children cared for or visa vera.There is no identifying info about you until a Mom emails you to discuss an exchange. You give her the info.

You can also see the newsletter, time log and feedback page once you login.

I hope to be able to send the newsletter by email later. I also will revise the Mommy Page once we grow so that you can see border states and find a mom easier.

I welcome any other suggestions. Email me!!!

Join us today and find your Mommy Time!!!

Why women understand Mommy Time.

I had a mom ask me to explain Mommy Time so that her husband understands. He thinks a internet co-op is strange.
My own brother who is 33 and has 3 small children thought it was strange when I proposed the idea. Of course, my sister in law understood. Moms need time off to be better wives, moms and catch their breath. And who better to watch your children than another mom. And when the mom is near you, her kids most likely attend the same schools as yours and you may worship at the same church and shop at the same stores. It's a great fit.
It certainly makes it better that the baby sitting is free, and it beats the pink haired girl who showed up to babysit last week.

Join us today and find your Mommy Time!!!

Extend your membership when you give or get Mommy Time!

To encourage exchanges this weekend, I am offering an extension of membership. This will be useful for all moms who registered early. I will extend the membership to 2 years for any mom who provides or uses Mommy Time this weekend 9/7- 9/10. Just login time and feedback and both moms will get a 1 year extension. Drop an email, make a call and get to know another mom. Find some Mommy Time this week end!

Feedback time

Now that we have been online about 2 weeks, I'd like some feedback.
Come on girls- let me know how the exchanges are working. Are we asking the moms enough questions to match similarities?
Are we making it easy to find another mom? We did change the Mommy Time page to show the city and zip code of the moms.

If you haven't had time to look around the site, I have just posted 2 articles from a mom writer in Tennessee. The articles are in the newsletter and are about parenting and taking time for yourself.

The brochure is just about complete. I had to find a nice photo of a mom for the ad. I couldn't use a photo of me. As you see here, I'm so untypical of a mom of young children it would scare moms away. Here is a photo of me with my son and daughter in the kitchen. Yes, I know I'm older than you thought. Madonna and I are the same age. She is just richer and thinner than I. But I bet I'm happier.

Photo shoot for charity.

I took the kids to Hunger Task Force this morning. They needed kids for a commercial they are shooting.
Now, my son is extremely photogenic. He is very handsome and knows it, but man, did he freeze. Now, personally I don't care. I don't need my kids to be models but it was a little embarrassing. And to top it off he had steri-strips on his chin because he fell in the shower last night and split his chin open. The had him drink a glass of milk to hide the chin.
Now my daughter is beautiful to me. Actually, she looks a lot like me. But like her ma, I'm not photogenic and neither is she. But she really did well. Shy, but cute. If you Milwaukee moms see the next commercial for Hunger Task Force, mine are the 2 shy young ones.

The brochure is just about completed for the PDF on the site. I have a great designer working on it. I found her on GURU.com. I have had very good results whenever I need a designer from there.
I am also making a brochure that I will use as a mailing. In order to help moms that have registered have more available moms, I'm starting a mailing to school districts. I will be offering MommyTime as a school fund raiser. Schools will get brochures to give to each child and a special registration code. Every mom who registers will mean that the school makes money and we get new moms. Anyone who thinks that their school or church would be interested, let me know.
I'll start with school districts of all registered moms. Besides, if the schools register a lot of moms, the moms may have more time to help in the classroom.
When I was a teenager, my mom did home day care for a couple of years. Even though she was an RN and could have gone back to work, she stayed home when my brother Paul was born. She did child care in Wauwatosa and offered free child care to any mom who helped out at school. Particularly, St. Bernards.
This way she felt that she was giving to the school indirectly while other moms would volunteer.
I think she did a great thing. But she is a great mom and a wonderful example.

What I am doing today.

In addition to baking Toll House cookies and running errands, I am working on a promotional piece to mail to every school district of current members. It is an ad piece and fund raising proposal for the schools.

The new moms registering are a very diverse group. This will keep me on my toes working on new ways to promote the site to new areas. This idea started in the Midwest and that is where I thought it would stay and grow until we expand. But I forgot that most women like to share a good thing so they told their friends on the coasts and once they signed up, I wanted to be able to provide them with new moms. So we are now nationwide and at this time in 22 states.

I am also finishing the brochure that I will have on the web site in a PDF so that anyone can print it and post it in the city you live. I have one at my post office, Laundromat and Piggly Wiggly food store at the present time.

What can I do for you?

Now that we are online and the site is working as it should, I am open to requests.
Is there anything I can do to make this a better site for you?

I know a lot of moms have asked why can't they see their name. See FAQ
I can't change this but we are working on the access to other states.
I also would like the database to narrow down the choices per state. I am trying to see if we can have our city under our name so that it would look like this:
Barb Mom
Sussex
Then you could search through zip codes in your city. Any suggestions, I'm all ears.

The email system is still in flux so continue to email my personal email or the web site will forward any messages.

The resources page is a free listing for any local non-profit. Just email me and give me your suggestions. This provides a link to the resource site.

The directory page is for business to advertise. I am hoping to keep costs down by having advertising space. Members have a discount advertising rate so if you would like to promote your business to local moms, please submit your ads. This links to your business. I have hubby's real estate ad in already.

I will also do barter with business who promote the site, hang a flyer, or write about us in a newsletter. Any mom who wants to help promote the site with distributing a flyer, let me know.

The press release on the site launch has been sent out.

After any mom has taken some mommy time? I'd love to hear from you personally on how it went, any suggestions. I also will post the child info sheet in the FAQ so that you can print a new one with each exchange if needed.

There is a TV station in Minneapolis which may do a story on the Mommy Time idea. I have moms who will be interviewed and this would be a great way for other moms to hear about us.

That's all for now.

Resources and Directory pages

On the website there are 2 pages now operational.
Resources Page:
The resources page is a place to list any resources that a mom might need to use or want to know about.
Any one can submit the name of a community resources that might be helpful to a mom in this area. I need your help. Please submit any site you want me to post. Food pantry's, community clinics, and other non-profits.
Directory:
This page is to find a place to spend your mommy time. Hair salons, restaurant, shopping, etc. This is a place for advertisers to invite you to check them out. Since I want to encourage small business, the mommy members have a reduced ad cost. If you would like to advertise, the directory page has a checkout feature so that you can submit ads online.