My favorite poem

This is my favorite poem which I read and memorized at Pius High School many years ago. I still can recall the cadence of speaking the poem as I recited in class.

Reflections On a Gift of Watermelon Pickle

Received from a

Friend Called Felicity

by John Tobias (1966)

During that summer

When unicorns were still possible;

When the purpose of knees

Was to be skinned;

When shiny horse chestnuts

(Hollowed out

Fitted with straws

Crammed with tobacco

Stolen from butts

In family ashtrays)

Were puffed in green lizard silence

While straddling thick branches

Far above and away

From the softening affects

Of civilization;



During that summer-

Which may never have been at all;

But which has become more real

Than the one that was-

Watermelons ruled.

Thick pink imperial sheaves

Melting frigidly on sun parched tongues

Dribbling from chins;

leaving the best part,

The black bullet seeds,

To be spit out in rapid fire

Against the wall

Against the wind

Against each other;



And when the ammunition was spent,

There was always another bite;

It was a summer of limitless bites,

Of hungers quickly left

And quickly forgotten

With the next careless gorging.



The bites are fewer now.

Each one is savored lingeringly,

Swallowed reluctantly.



But in a jar put up by Felicity,

The summer which maybe never was

Has been captured and preserved

And when we unscrew the lid

And slice off a piece

And let it linger on our tongue:

Unicorns become possible again.
 
 
Have a peaceful night.

IEP day

Today was my sons IEP. We have these annually to update and add any changes needed for his education and to modify his behavior plan as needed. Since most of his behavior problems are at home, they don't see or have to cope with the worst of it.

Everything was updated and we carry on. Reading, math and speech special services and 1:1 at school.

The Concerta is helping is chatter talk and hyperactivity. A very good day.

My daughter is dealing with 2nd grade girl drama. They are already forming little cliques. I thought that didn't start until 6th grade. What do I know?

I continue to fight the school on the "new" math curriculum. My 2nd grader was told to use a calculator. I refused. I told her when she can do it in her head or on paper she can check with a calculator and not before.
I was in Office Max a few days ago and I needed them to take 10% off a $230.00 item. The 2 twenty somethings were running around asking for a calculator. I watched amusingly and said the discount is $23.00.
They were SHOCKED I could figure it out in my head. They didn't believe me and continued to look for a calculator. When they found it and verified my calculation they were a little short with me when I implied they were idiots. They said they learned math on a calculator. I reminded them they were helpless until they found it.

A contented evening

I sit here this evening feeling tired yet contented. My son has been a psychiatric pharmacology lab rat for the last 2 months. I know something has to work. I know the mood stabilizers such as Lithium, Tegretol and Depakote did not and in fact made him sicker. I don't even want to list the meds we have tried over the last 6 years.

A few days ago I called the psychiatrist because GL was raging, running in circles and it was pathetic, heartbreaking and distressing for him. I tried a sedative to calm him but he was too ramped up. The doc suggested we try a stimulant even though we had in the past and it didn't work. Well this time it worked.
I couldn't believe it. After all of this time the racing and hyperactivity was manageable with Concerta? He still has RAD and is angry and unattached but at least we are able to calm his mood and he can listen and focus a little better. Small miracles in my book. And that is why I am content tonight.

This is really hard

Well, the Tegretol doesn't seem to work and is causing the same agitation and mania that the Lithium did.  My baby boy came home from school and began a hypo manic rage and was so unfocused i couldn't even understand him. I tried to comfort him but he pushed me away. He thinks the medications are making him "kook coo". I agree, they certainly seem to be. We're going to hold the dose tomorrow and contact the doc.

Where we go from here is unknown, the mood stabilizers are working in the opposite way they should.

More roller coaster times

The Lithium is gone and we are now giving our son Tegretol. The Lithium caused hyper aggression and he even assaulted a younger female on the playground and that hasn't happened for a long time.

The Tegretol may take up to a week to have a noticeable difference so in the mean time I pray for patience and forgive myself when I loose it. I hate this but at one point today I said "Just shut up". first of all I hate that sentence, i don't allow my kids to say it and i find it really mean. But I said it out of complete frustration when i was busy with cooking and getting a project wrapped up and he just stood by my side chattering in the RADDY way about nothing to irritate me. So I will push him away. And i did. As soon as i said it I stopped and asked him how he felt. He said he wasn't sure; I think he was in shock. I told him how his chattering make me feel and how irritating it is. I asked him to not talk for 5 minutes but stay by me. He did and we got through it. I also put the project away since i should know that i can't do 2 things at once and parent my kids.

Cross your fingers

The lithium is on day 3 and all is well. The evidence states that most children with adverse effects of lithium will be seen in the first week or so. Let's hope this helps. I'm also pleased with the effects of the alprazolam. The medication makes him sleepy and calm. I needed to find a med for rage periods and not for daily use. I also know about the addictive properties of Xanax and I want to minimize his dependence.

I've also ramped up the home therapy. He is shut down. No second chances, only consequences and lots of time in with mommy. I get all of the love... I told him I'm so glad he made me aware that my breath stinks and my butt is big. I'm very grateful to hear about those physical aspects that i was never aware of :)

Yesterday we started reading "Me and My Volcano" by Deborah Hage.  After we discussed a few pages he was very angry and said the book made him angry. I'm glad. He needs to continue to use his words and not his hands to communicate his anger.

My daughter is asking us to "get rid of him". I told her he would always be her brother, whether he lives here or not. But that mom and dad want to try our best to keep him home.

I'm trying to do more one on one play with her; it sounds like she needs it.

New Meds

We had a retched weekend. My son had one of the most exhausting days with me Saturday. Hubby was gone helping his dad so he wasn't home to help. We like to work as a tag team when GL is raging. It gets so tiring and when tired it is easy to get mad and not be in control. I admit there are days I have to put my son in his room with the alarm on just so I can get refocused and remember getting angry or taking it personal doesn't help.

So, Saturday he started out very disrespectful, hurtful and destructive. He recently acquired a few decorations for his room and they were destroyed. All morning it was time out, time in with mom, strong sitting and finally a call to the doctor for some help. Thankfully, a local church offers a respite program once a month and I dropped my son off for 3 hours so that I could take my daughter bowling and shopping. A tomboy girl day; sports shopping for snowboard equipment. We both had a blast and it was fun to be with someone who is happy and fun. I only hope my son can get there some day.

OK, the doc called me while I was on the way home from work. we discussed his prior meds and suggestions for treatment. We are going to start Lithium and I wanted a prn (as needed) med for rages so we are going to try alprazolam (Xanax). He really wants to wean off the Abilify. My sons A1C test (diabetes) was elevated at 5.9 and this is the pre-diabetes status. A A1C over 6 used to be diabetes but the ADA just revised this to 6.5. Atypical antipsychotics such as Abilify, Geodon,  Seroquel, Risperidone, Zyprexa and others have the adverse effect of increasing the risk for metabolic syndrome and diabetes. If the Lithium works as a mood stabilizer, we will wean the Abilify off. I started the meds tonight. I wondered about the Xanax since it should relax my son but everyone has a different reaction and I know that it can dis-inhibit some patients and cause an opposite reaction. I was glad to see him yawning 20 minutes after receiving it.
Sweet dreams baby boy.

The medication waltz

Well we saw the new psych MD yesterday and I'm not sure what to report. They all seem nice the first meeting. It isn't until a few meetings when the disinterest and arrogance shows up.

We have to get labs tomorrow and see him again next week. I already told him we need more help with a mood stabilizer and a prn like Seroquel for really raging days. I hope he hears me and we start on a right path again.

Another psychiatrist!???

Tomorrow we are off to meet a new psychiatrist. Number 4 in 5 years. Now I'm a patient woman and I respect the medical profession. I'm part of the medical profession in a nursing psychiatric kind of way.


I'm in school to be able to prescribe psychotropic medication. But I can't seem to find anyone who respects my "mom" knowledge. Who will believe me when I call and need help, a prn medication, a tweaking of the meds or an ear to listen. I need someone to hear me; not just say "hospitalize".

No, I am not expecting a miracle from meds but I know that a mood stabilizer may help, that meds need changing because of loss of effectiveness. We had that happen with the Abilify. It worked with the guanfacine for over 2 years when it just didn't. We did a med wash. What hell was that! No meds at all, daily continuous rages, the distress of watching my baby boy suffer from anxiety and confusion. The trying risperidone, depakote, lamictal and the anti-depressants.

Well, we'll see what happens...tomorrow.

A day in a RAD mom life.

This article is an excellant example of what we as RAD parents go through every day as we tightrope the issues of patience and guidance.

Through the house the words rang as they had rung hundreds of times before,

No anger, no edge, no tension, just,

"Come into the bathroom, kids.

Hang up your wet towels.

They'll never dry on the floor."

And so the children come,

pick up their towels,

so they'll dry.

No problems, no fuss,

just grasp it with both hands and hang it over the hook.
Yet one child seems to cower in his room.

Facing me in the bathroom with a wet towel at my feet is too much for him.

I call again, knowing whose towel it is that is left.
Stiff with fear,

his bony thinness evident through his pajamas,

he slowly approaches the bathroom.

Standing in the doorway, his eyes watch my every muscle,

trying to discern the first twitch indicating impending violence.

None comes.
He enters, steps above the towel so that it lies between our feet.

I try to say, gently, again, "Hang up your towel".

But five minutes after a 30 second task should have been done leaves an edge of impatience

in my voice.

He stands, unable to pick up the towel for fear of losing sight of me.

For fear of bending his head and not seeing the blow that is sure to come.

What do I do now?

My mind races over the possibilities.

Do I pick up the towel for him and relieve him of his fears?

Do I master my voice and say again as kindly, as softly as possible, "Honey, you need to hang up your towel."

Do I stand quietly, waiting for the trust that will allow him to bend over and pick up

the towel?

Do I give him a hug and suggest that together we pick up the towel so he can still see

me every second?

Do I leave and let him pick it up alone?

I am not used to watching my few relaxing evening moments evaporate while a child wallows in fear

over the seemingly simple matter of hanging up a wet towel.
There is accusation in his eyes.

Accusing me of inflicting pain,

bearing the accusation for those who did.

My patience ebbs away.

The ebbing he had been waiting for.

The ebbing he knew would come.

The ebbing which would prove his fears were justified.
I abandon the reasonable options my mind has outlined and enter the world he has imagined for me.

Harsh words bark out!

"Pick up this towel immediately!"

In an instant he has grabbed up the towel,

wadded it into a ball,

thrust it onto the top of the hook,

no more able to dry than it had been on the floor.
His eyes have never left me.

The new position of the towel is worse than the old.

I am angry.

To wait so long and see such a mess made of it.

I grab his hands,

force him to take the towel down,

shake it out,

rehang it properly.

His stiffness is alarming.

His eyes try to veil the well of tears,

the sense of rejection and failure.

He flees to his room.
I go from room to room and bed to bed,

kissing each cheek,

settling everyone in for the night,

sharing evening blessings and small talk of the day.

One small body huddles against the wall,

refusing my touch,

rejecting my feeble efforts at reconciliation.

He stiffens against my embrace,

still I pick him up in my arms and try to hug his straight arms and body.
We are both crying.

Six months of patient effort to bring him out of his tomb of fear.

Lost.
Lost because of a tired mom,

and a wet towel,

lying,

on a bathroom floor.
 
 
  Deb Hauge   http://www.deborahhage.com/

Roller coaster of Christmas

My son has been on the roller coaster of Christmas emotions; loving one minute but mostly confused, hypervigilant and destructive. We work everyday to keep him home by keeping US safe. After a really crappy week of violent outbursts, fecal drawing and fighting for control, today was nice. He listened, was respectful, played alone and didn't bother his sister and even took care of his evening hygiene without a mess. I am blessed today.

Mass School Suspends Child For Drawing Crucifix

Mass School Suspends Child For Drawing Crucifix


Have we come to a point when a Catholic child can not draw a picture of a crucifix without needing a psychological exam? I pray for this poor family. Schools need to get real and use a little common sense.

Late night.

Today was one of those crazy days. I left for work at 6 am, visited my in laws for supper and  help with some physical cares ( my mother in law is in her mid 80's and has Alzheimer's) then off to school for my last class of the semester...yea! A long day but I need to be away and use my mind and help others to feel stronger. Make sense? Hubby stayed home and is wonderful and even more patient than me. He put our son to bed early for disrespect and hitting. I tucked him in at 9 pm since he had fallen asleep on the bed with clothes on. No pull-up on so lots of laundry to anticipate.

I have to work again tomorrow so off to bed.

Snow Day

Well, we got through the night. After raging a few hours my son passed out. I covered him up, kissed him and shut the door and set his alarm. He can't live here with us without an alarm. I would never be able to sleep and none of us would be safe.

Today was a snow day! The kids were thrilled and I was glad that it was my day off. As a nurse there is never a snow day and even though I drive 30 miles to work, I would have to make it in. Instead I got a day to catch up with a little homework, make hot tea for the kids, watch my hubby shovel us out. 12 " of snow. Heavy wet snow. Now as a born and bred upper Midwesterner, I love my snow, especially the first few storms. Just like everyone else here I get really sick of it by March and hate those late May snows or freezes. Well, what do I expect; I live in Wisconsin.

My daughter had a blast outside and then she took her new Rip Stick board in the basement to practice-my little jock.

My son tried to play outside but just ended up trying to hurt his sister, threw snow at daddy while he was snow blowing-unsafe. So he won the big lottery, mommy time wit me...all day and I'm exhausted. Let's see, he pulled my hair, tried to scare me repeatedly, made a mess every where and finished it of by defecating in his pants and making such a mess trying to clean up I finally did it myself. I then got to bleach down half the house.

He did sit next to me late this evening for a while and even put his head on my shoulder for about 15 seconds before calling me a jerk. He finally put him to bed at 7pm when he screamed in my ear. And I wonder why I have tinnitus? He raged a few minutes and knew I wasn't going to bye the "I'm sorry"  and "I didn't mean it" and after a few more choice words he settled and went to bed.

A new therapist

Today was day one with a new therapist. This time I decided to work with a woman,; our last 2 therapist were men.

I am also considering a new psychiatrist.

Anyway, This is the first time I didn't go in with my son. After an hour he emerged and therapist said it was a great first meeting. Well....It must have stirred up some good strong feelings because he was digging out poop and drawing on the walls for me tonight. He also hit, spit kicked and pulled my hair.

I am almost considering a hospital stay  for respite for hubby and I. And I hate psych hospitals for kids. I think they are expensive glorified day care and my son comes home sicker than before and learns even better profanity and gang signs...yeah ;(

I'll try to keep him safe and quiet tomorrow, I think we will be having a snow day.

Older adoption

My sons birth brother has contacted us. We found him 2 years ago but we were not in the emotional position to adopt him as we were in the throes of dealing with the hardest times with our sons RAD; including 2 hospitalizations.

We are now not in a financial position to help adopt him.

He has asked and I don't know what to do. My heart is large enough for him but my wallet is empty.

Please add him to your prayers and help us decide how to best help him.

Happy Thanksgiving

The kids are in bed. A rough evening but now all is well in the world. I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving.

Quiet night

Everyone is sleeping...all is quiet. Baby boy found a sharpie marker and proceeded to scribble all over his bedroom wall, mattress, pillow, and body because he way angry. I calmly handed him a Magic Eraser (they truly are magic, I love them) and told him  to start cleaning. He later snuggled with me.

But now I'm the only one up and all is quiet on the RAD front...for tonight :)

Incredible

It is just incredible. For the last 2 days my son has been almost normal. Yes, there is still sibling rivalry that goes on but not too much of the Raddy behavior. A few broken pencils and one short outburst after school but I thank God for days like this.

My hubby's work is winding down and my school and work schedule are not overly busy, maybe he is just reacting to our relaxed behavior. I have to stop over analyzing and just relish the moment.

The complexities of RAD

Here is a photo of our  pumpkins this past Halloween.  Between the four of us: Hubby, myself, my son and daughter guess which one has RAD.

Following the leader

I have been reading a lot of RAD blogs lately. As things act up in our home, I am curious about how other families cope.  One thing is clear, patience, patience, patience!

Anxiety driven RAD

My RAD baby boy is anxiety driven, picking his skin until bleeding, hitting his head and obsessively calling out you-ee you-ee you-ee. I found another feces filled diaper under his dresser this morning where he was on a time out after hitting his sister.  He can't take my affection for more than a few seconds, that RAD creeping up and covering his heart. I hug him and kiss his cheek and all of a sudden I feel a tenseness and he sticks his face in mine or pulls my hair or says "you stink'; all intended to push me away.

Bleach time

My Baby boy is raging again. We tried to cuddle tonight for a few minutes and he became very restless, starting picking his scabs open and ended up wiping feces on his door and wiping himself with the cream colored shower curtain. He just wants us to reject him, push him away or hurt him. I tell him he is safe and loved. He still doesn't believe me.

Send in the clowns

I haven't posted for a long time. Thing have been difficult the last year. Hubby and I are fine but the kids are challenging. My son has been hospitalized and struggles daily. My daughter is finally talking about her birth mom.

What Flower??

I am a Sunflower What Flower Are You?

I love Palin!!!

Wow, I can finally vote for McCain enthusiastically.

Palin is the new energy, integrity and strength that the Republican party needs. Bravo!!!


http://www.johnmccain.com/

My Favorite Song

I know this dates me but what a classic!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zJdbpzfJMs

A busy time.

It's been a busy winter and spring. We finished the addition to our home, I continue in school and really love it. I'm taking an online Bochem class this summer thru Colorado Colleges Online. I'll do the lab in the kitchen with a microscope I purchased. Should be fun.

The kids are just about finished with school, but summer school awaits! My son will continue with school for 6 weeks. I hope it helps him retain some of the 1st grade work he learned.

We need to finish landscaping but we have all summer.

A wonderful day

This sleepy, snowy winter day.

Children playing, hubby shoveling snow and plans to go bowling later. I'm watching a chick movie and enjoying my day.

Where did the time go?

I checked on this blog and I couldn't believe that it was over 2 months since my last post. Where did the time go?
1. I now work part-time.
2. I went back to school and am taking 9 credits this semester.
3. When I am not working or studying I am with the children or my hubby.
4. My son is having many more behavior-educational problems this year that are really making me rethink his behavior plan and our parenting of him at this time.
5. My daughter is in full time kindergarten and I volunteer at her school when I can.
6. I am volunteering in the school health room once a month.
7. Hubby and I are planning to remodel our home and we are drawing up plans and meeting with contractors.

As you can see, things are busy. and when I do have computer time it is usually spent looking up research papers or online discussions with other students. (All of my classess are online and I love it. )

I'll try and post when I can. In the mean time, do you know that I have to take a statistics class and it scared me to death. I am now really enjoying it and I have found that even though it makes my brain hurt and I sometimes start crying when I study, I am challenged by this class and am even getting a B in the class so far. It goes to show, you are never too old to go back to school.:> One of my classmates said her goal is to get her PhD by the time she is 60. Sounds like a good plan.

The end of summer vacation

The summer is winding down. The kids went to the zoo with a aunt yesterday. This will probably be the last time of the summer. We will be off for a few days of camping next week before school starts and we have a rush of haircuts and doctor appointments before the end of vacation time.
The garden is growing like a weed- or maybe it is a weed! Really, I weeded the vegetable garden last week and now I can see where the cucumbers and tomatoes are. This is a great time for the garden. I am sick of zucchini and I wonder why I plant three plants when one is all I need. Anyone need baseball size overgrown zucchini? But I love making fresh cucumber salad, garlic and butter roasted beans and fresh cherry tomatoes.
And remember those little chickens we got in spring? They are now 10 fat and happy hens with free range all over my property. They should start laying in 2 weeks. Then it will be eggs, eggs, eggs all of the time.

My Anniversary

Today is my 17th wedding anniversary. The kids are with an aunty- my sister, and hubby and I spent the day at the Wisconsin State Fair.
Really, I loved it!

The new me.

I 've decided to show you the new me. Last year when I was ill for a while, I didn't keep up with coloring my hair. After a while I decided to grow out my coloring to see what it really looked like. I was pretty grey but hubby liked it so I kept letting it grow out. Well, after the last of it was cut off I'm left with a beautiful head of mostly grey hair. At first I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep it up but now I really like it. And it's really nice not to color any more. My hair seem much healthier, also. I did get a funny comment from my daughter asking me why her mom is a old grandma. What!!!:) But after explaining that kids have all different kinds of ages of moms, she is ok.

End of the school year.

The kids will be done with school tomorrow. I know it's late but they needed to add extra days to make up for the lost snow days. We had my daughters branching out yesterday. This is a little ceremony when the K4 children branch out to their new elementary school. Very cute! I have the summer activities planned. So that my son continues to learn and not lose what he has learned, I have decided to home school during the summer. I have a set schedule for Monday thru Friday and it includes 2 hours of school per day. It also includes crafts, lost of art and plenty of fun outside play. Both of my children benefit by a routine and I believe this will work for them. Let's see!

What is spring for?

Spring keeps me busy. In addition to working part time, keeping the home as best I can, playing with and teaching the children, helping hubby as needed with his work, ...I love to garden.

The poppies are starting to bloom, the bridal wreath is in full bloom. The nepeta, iris, euphorbia are blooming. I have planted my annuals for the year. Only $200 worth. I can usually spend that much or more on the front alone. I saved up and had a rummage sale for my annual flower cash. In fact, the Salvation Army truck came today to haul away the left over rummage stuff, they are great! And I always look for ways to help the Army. A few dollars for the bell ringers at Christmas, donations for their stores. I once was a scared 20 year old in Calcutta, India on my way to volunteer for Mother (now Blessed) Theresa and the Salvation Army gave me a place to stay. I've always been grateful.

But I digress, ...the garden. I planted a large cocoa liner basket on the fence with shady flowers and sweet potato vines. I planted celosia and petunias, geranium and Red Fountain grass (annual) in the planter beds in front of the Boxwood hedge. I do love my garden. I'll have to shoot some before and after photos later this year to show how everything fills out. Oh, and I added some more Pink Knock Out Roses since they are soooo fabulous and bloom all summer (with lots of feeding, Osmocote is what I use).

Not blogging lately.

I don't know why I'm not blogging lately. I am busy with my new work routine and schedule. But mostly I think it's because it's spring and my free time is spent outside. Unlike the other 6 months of the year that I am more sedentary, May is my month to plant, clean and start the year new.
The kids are busy, and I don't have much to say.
Sorry.

Box load of chickens

Hubby cleaned out the old chicken coop yesterday and said "Let's get some more chickens." Well, we have had chickens before and I'm surprised he wanted them again but the kids love it and if we don't over winter them it won't be too expensive. I agreed and we went to the Merton Feed Mill for a box load of chickens. $1.25 each. 10 in all. Little brown chicks for big brown eggs. We'll free range once they are able to get out side in 8 weeks or so. We are leaving them on the porch for now since the weather is too cool. I put them in a big plastic bin so the kids cane watch them and run to tell me when they need more feed or water.

My first day as a soccer mom.

We had our first soccer practice for my daughter today. All day I heard " I'm sooo excited, I can't wait to play soccer." My daughter is a 5 year old jock. She shouldn't be, with her eyesight and chance of retinal detachment. But she is a strong energetic girl who loves sports and being physically active. She has her protective eye wear and she has the approval of her pediatric opthamologist but it still worries me that she needs to play so rough. This is baby soccer, indoors with 4 & 5 year olds but still she charges around playing aggressively, pushing boys over to goal. I'm actually not embarrassed of her just proud that she is assertive and takes charge of everything she does. I'm kind of a loud assertive gal so it feels right to me:)

Another day on Easter break.

Well, the days are a bit slower. The kids are getting bored. We did art projects, a reading work sheet, ran to the store for more construction paper and pipe cleaners, more art projects, lunch, outside time to play in the snow, more art and more art. At least they like art:)

April Snow Storm

We are in the midst of an April snow storm. Looks like 5-10 inches. The kids are on Easter break so we are having a fun indoor day with breaks for the kids to run outside and romp in the snow. We decorated paper bag puppets that I found on this site. and they had a puppet show and played dress up.

New special needs blog and website

Here is a new blog I found about Specail Needs. I love the name...
Shut up about your perfect kids.

Happy Easter!

He is Risen. Alleluia!

Easter Candy in the snow

We took the kids to the Sussex armory for the annual Easter Candy handout. Cooooold!!! We made a mad dash for the goods and got back in the car to warm up.

We had a lazy afternoon. The kids played dress up Batman and Robin, played cars, and with blocks.

I read a book and thought about cleaning the house but reconsidered.

The book was so enjoyable.

Easter Weekend

It's Easter weekend and I have some nice quiet time with the family.
Of course this is Wisconsin so it just started to snow again. I was hoping for a little gardening, maybe start fertilizing and putting out my peony cages, but I have to settle for a walk around the garden with my winter coat and mittens. Easter Mass tomorrow and lunch at my sisters. It should be nice.
I sent an email newsletter to all of the Mommy Time moms. If you didn't get one, email me and I'll add you to the list.
Have a wonderful weekend!

My new life.

I've changed a big part of my life recently. I went back to work. Part time but still a big change. I've been a stay at home mom for the past 3 years and I had gotten so used to the home routine. Working for someone else is a new challenge.
Right now I'm still in orientation so it's full time for 3 weeks and very hard on the kids. I'm lucky that hubby is in Real Estate and has such flexible hours. The kids are always with a parent or family except when at school so they are coping.
I guess I'm lucky that I chose nursing as a profession oh so many years ago. Nursing has given me the luxury to choose my specialty, hours, quit for years and step back in. All great things to have. This job is days and I will be gone while the kids are in school so it shouldn't impact them too much. The only sad part is the weekend rotation but people are sick 24/7 and I chose a specialty that has patients every day, night and weekends.

Wisconsin Fish Fry

It's Lent in Wisconsin and I love this post from Tom McMahon.

Fish fry in Wisconsin is sacred stuff and every friday in lent and all through out the year folks stand in line for a great fish fry. Cod or Perch?

I'm a cod girl myself.

Sample Letter of Intent

I read this article from Parenting Special Needs and found this sample letter of intent to be a useful tool for parents of all children.
If my husband and I died suddenly, I have a great family to care for my kids. But what do they really know about the day to day life of the kids?This tool would clarify doctors names, activities they are involved in, school routines and plan for the future.
I want to make sure that I write one of these letters for each of my children. But I'll pray that no one ever has to use them.

How to stock a pantry.

I like to keep an organized home and I am proud of my well stocked pantry. As someone who loves to cook, I need 2 things to function in the kitchen. The Joy of Cooking Cookbook and a pantry which will provide the basics for any good meal. I think the list from this blog site will give you a great starter on the basics of your pantry or kitchen.

New IEP today.

I had a lengthy and involved IEP meeting for my son today. I have to credit the Hamilton school district for the wonderful professionals that worked with my son and evaluated his needs.
I was asking for additional evals for emotional and learning disabilities and found that he doesn't need these services. We will continue his speech, add OT and a psych component to his education but he has made so much progress by the half day schedule and working to redirect misbehavior.
Of course the medications have helped greatly and the time to allow him to know and feel safe at school.
He is now back on track to full days and hopefully advance to first grade next year. I feel very hopeful!

Would you want this mom?

I read about this woman who went to have an abortion, the abortion didn't work and she ended up having the baby. She is now suing for damages to pay for the child rearing costs of this little girl. How ghastly!
This poor child will find out she was to be aborted and that her own mother wants damages for the act that she survived! The best thing this mother could do is let this child be adopted to a family who loves her dearly and places her needs above theirs.
I dearly pray this mother finds unconditional love for her daughter or someone else that can provide it for her.

These women should never vote!

When I see a video like this, my conservative side kicks in and I don't want anyone to vote unless they are at least 25 and own property. Women! You are smarter than this!

I'm finally logged in.

I had a terrible time getting into my blogger acccount to make posts. Google let me use the old version of login for a while but they finally made me switch to the new version of Blogger. Since then I have been unable to login. Until today.

My whole family is home sick and snowed in. We have had the flu for the past week. We didn't get flu shots and it has been so long since any of us had the flu I think we forgot how tottally wretched it is.!!! Both myself and my husband have had trips to the ER to get fluids and in my hubby's case antibiotics for now a new pneumonia.

We also have had over a foot of snow in the last day and we are snowed in. I called and had someone plow out the driveway since neither of us has the strenghth to snowblow. And the snow is the heavy wet kind that will cause heart attacks all over town from unhealthy folks trying to clean up when they should leave it for someone younger or healthier.

Hunkered down

The arctic blast continues and the kids are going stir crazy and looking for any opportunity to move. We went for an errand to Walgreen's this
morning and my daughter asked me to park really far away so she can run. I did. We have been mall walking and looking for places to go and get out. The average temp should be 31 not 10 and I'll be very happy when we warm up.
There was a rash of discussion about school closings and cold weather. My children were off this week for 2 days because of the cold.
I guess we are all a little wussified and we forget that when it's cold, dress warm and in layers. I won't start with the stories of how I walked to school, but things were different then. Now the news exaggerates every change in the weather so that every new weather pattern is the worse we've ever seen. I'm to blame also. The cold affects me more as I've gotten older and I don't want to spend time outside. I'm sure my children hear me and hubby complain so they don't want to go out when it's really cold. Well, I have to stay positive and think that every day is closer to spring.
I brought some potting soil inside and had the children pot up starter seeds. Maybe watching them grow will help us feel better.

-12 degrees. Where is the global warming when you need it.

-12 degrees and it's not fun. We live in an old farm house and the insulation is almost non- existent. We had the walls filled with blown insulation when we bought this home 12 years ago but I'm sure that it has fallen down the walls.
The windows are old and our dear old oil furnace is chugging along without a break. Once in a while I will hear it stop, only to hear it start up again.
The kids have three comforters on the beds. I have a electric blanket on my bed.
The kids are going stir crazy because they can't play outside. Even I, who believes in daily outside play time, won't subject them to such cold.
Now I might just sound like a big waa waa, especially to my Fargo moms,
but it's cold.

TB Scare

We just had a TB scare at my home.
When my children were adopted 3 years ago, I didn't do a full post adoption work up. They had so many other health care issues that I put it on hold.
I decided to have a full work up done late this past year and I'm so glad I did.
I found out my son was anemic and I was told my daughter had latent TB.
What a scare. I understand how she got TB. The conditions of the orphanage were ripe for the transmission of many diseases, but I was still in shock. On one hand I was glad it wasn't active and contagious TB and she didn't have any symptoms. But with latent TB, the child still has to be treated for 9 months with medications to completely kill the disease. That's a lot for a child to go through.
But we heard about the quantiferon blood test to double check the PPD and we did it. Yes, she had to have blood drawn but it was well worth it. We just got the results back and she is negative. Yeah! A big scare but I am so grateful that we had the tests done to confirm the diagnosis.

Registration for Mommy Time

I think the problem with registration is resolved. For the time being, when registering on Mommy Time, I need you to fill out the registration page, accept terms and wait for the Welcome email. This email will link you back to fill out your family names so that I can complete the background check.
I hope to get the process back to one step soon but for now at least it's working and you can have access within one day.
Now for those of you already registered, email a mom and get yourself some Mommy Time!

My birthday.

Today is my birthday. I wanted to write a long thoughtful post about my life as it is at this time. Unfortunately, today is so busy I can barely find time to post these few words. Maybe tomorrow.

Read this if you plan on registering.

To all of the moms registering at this time, I am having some site problems. If you register, try to complete all of the pages right away. Registration, terms and family name info. It looks like if you stop after the first page and try to complete later, the site may not let you in. I have someone looking into the problem and it should be resolved soon. For those who can't get in at all, email me with your name, address and family names and I'll manually enter you. So sorry!

To those of you who have emailed the last 2 days, I have returned all of my mail. The family was at the Kalahari Water Park in Wisconsin Dells for a winter get away.
I usually like this place but today the water was COLD. My 6 year old was shivering after a few minutes and I who has ample body fat was shivering as we floated down the lazy river. Not good. And the internet access was $5 per every 15 minutes so I waited until we came home.

Save Baby Gavin

I received this information and wanted to share it with everyone.

I am writing to you about a 10 month old baby named Gavin Winslow. My hope
is that you can help us save Gavin by posting the attached flyer at your
place of business. I received your name from the business directory on
Milwaukeemoms.com.

Gavin was born with Congenital Kidney Failure. Without a kidney transplant,
Gavin will not survive. Sadly, without a payment guarantee, a child cannot
even be placed on an organ transplant waiting list. That is why his family,
in conjunction with the Children's Organ Transplant Association (COTA) has
started a fundraising campaign, in his honor, in which they are trying to
raise $100,000.

To help reach this staggering amount of money, I have organized a Children's
Concert and Kids Fest featuring award winning children's artist Jim Gill.
Your support advertising this concert would be appreciated.

A CONCERT OF MUSIC AND PLAY WITH JIM GILL
Sunday, January 21, 2007
3:30 pm (doors open at 3:15)
Sheraton Brookfield Hotel in the Brookfield Ballroom
Purchase tickets at: www.savebabygavin.com or call 262-548-0614

Activities after the concert:
Pictures with Elmo
Magician
Balloon Artist
Face Painting
Tattoos
Silent Auction with great family and children items for bid

Again, I would sincerely appreciate your support advertising this concert
with the attached flyer.

One hundred percent of all funds raised are used for patients' transplant
and transplant-related expenses. COTA's priority is to assure that no child
is denied a transplant or excluded from a transplant waiting list due to a
lack of funds.

To follow Gavin's story, please visit www.savebabygavin.com.

Gratefully,

Samantha Christiansen

24 is here!

Well, the new 24 is here and I just sat through the first 2 hours. I warned hubby that I will be unavailable except for emergency's from 7-9 pm and I even got the kids down to bed with 3 minutes to spare!!! Yipee!!!I have to say, I don't know if I'm tired tonight or Jack is just getting a little too predictable. Of course I love 24 and will watch every episode and all of the reruns I can find on cable. Channel 9 in Chicago has them on regularly for my 24 fix. It just seems like how many bombings and how many presidents are we going to have? And how did Wayne get to be president?
All right, I must just be tired and I'll be perched on the edge of the sofa tomorrow at 7 pm for another 2 hours.

My Thinking Spot

Just like Pooh Bear- my daughter needs a thinking spot. I found her climbing into the small cupboard that has my rags in the utility room. She said it's a quiet spot and she likes to go in there when the wash machine is on.
We all need a place to get away and I'm glad she found hers.

It's 3 am, what are you doing?

Well, this 3 am and the kids are having a party. Actually my son woke up and couldn't sleep who in turn woke up my daughter and their playing woke up the dog who woke me up and now after getting everyone settled, I'm the one who can't sleep.
Good thing I have nothing scheduled for tomorrow. It's going to be a sleepy day.

The world will stop until you do.

I'm sitting here in my sons bedroom while I wait for him to clean feces off of a bookshelf. He just had a rage with hitting, spitting and kicking. Not a good day. He refuses to clean but he knows the mantra "The world stops until you do" No playing, no music, TV, bike or computer until the job is done. He swirls the sponge around in the bucket, rage filled eyes and I ignore him. He may throw the bucket, he might spill it but he knows I'll just get another one. He also knows not to say the bucket is too heavy since I will only add water to it. Wait, he is finally washing.
"Done!" he says, but I ignore him. "I'm Doooooone!!!!!" I ignore. "Mom, I'm done now with washing." OK, I look. "That's done, please start removing the crayons marks from the walls." I sit and write. I see that the sponge isn't working on the crayon so I send him downstairs to get the Magic Eraser."Ok, put your blinders on" and he places his hands on either side of his eyes. "Blinders on, run and get the Magic Eraser from under the sink, no distractions, no talking to your sister or dad, just run."
Wow, he's back in less than a minute and back to scrubbing walls. "See mom, it's working" His eyes are soft and he smiles. The rage is over. He'll finish his task and we will have weathered another post adoption attachment storm.

Happy Birthday Bailey!

Today is our dog Bailey's 9th birthday. The children wanted to have a party and Maria made cookies for him in the Easy Bake Oven and he had a special treat.

He may be the stinkiest dog I know and shed a lot but just like Old Yeller he's the root'n toot'nest dog in town!

Mommy Time for Free!

I want to announce that Mommy Time registration is now free!
I really want any mom who needs us to register and I don't want cost to be an obstacle. Now that we are advertising regularly, I can use the advertising revenue to offset the cost of the site. So, please patronize our advertisers. Order merchandise through the site, visit the directory or advertise in the directory and then choose these businesses and help me keep the site free.

What kind of mom I am.

I saw a Google ad stating "What kind of mom are you? and I had to respond.
Like all moms, I wish I was a better mom. When we adopted our children, I thought because I was in my 40's I would be more patient and laid back. I don't think so. I work hard to be patient. My husband and I never yell or shout at each other but I sometimes shout at the children and wonder where that voice came from.
I am an affectionate mom. We cuddle and kiss a lot.
I am a cooking mom. We love to cook and we spend most of our time in the kitchen.
I am a reading mom. I love to read and I want my children to understand the gift of reading.
I am a gardening mom and I want my children to love and appreciate nature.
I am a firm but kind mom and I believe in disciple and consequences.
I am a Catholic mom and I want my children to have a strong faith filled life.
I want my children to care for the least of our neighbors and see God in everyone.
I want my children to be well educated, smart and useful but I would rather they be the best garbage collector than a thieving CEO.
I want my children to have love of a family to help them and as a mom I try to show an example of a loving family.

Back to school.

Back to school for the kids today. My daughter is happy, excited and eager to resume school and learning. My son was complaining, negotiating and asking to stay home. After school it looks like my son may need a few days to adjust to the school routine again. He was distressed and complained about the noise levels. I think noise triggers anxiety for him and he just can't function. A lot of cuddles and a quiet night and he looks much better. We've been trying the Meletonin at night and it really works to relax him and allow him to sleep. And no night terrors.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to all. We are house cleaning, organizing tax info, Ouch! and playing outside. Such unseasonable weather and sun even has hubby smiling:)

Too many toys?

My daughter had a friend over today for a play date. Her friend asked where all of her toys were. I explained that we get rid of the old toys and try to keep the ones that are played with. She said she has rooms full of toys and she probably does have a lot. Why do kids have so many toys? When I asked what she got from Christmas she couldn't remember and my children really can't answer this question either.
When I was a child and returned to school after Christmas vacation we shared what we got for Christmas. Everyone said what they got and it was usually one big thing and a few little things including socks and underwear. I remember my Easy Bake Oven. I got it the Christmas we lived in Aurora, IL. It was a great gift. But that was my gift. My children received about 10 things each. I know it's my fault, maybe we just are too indulgent or maybe we just have more to spend. But it seem that children are used to getting "stuff'" almost everyday. McDonald's gives them a toy, Cost Cutters or the barber shop gives them a small toy or candy, the bank gives them stickers. Hey, these kids are used to it.

Learning to use the computer

As a mom who grew up before computers, I find it fascinating to see my children catch on to computer use so quickly. My daughter just turned 5 yet she is navigating her way around with a mouse and learning techniques it took me a long time to learn.

Reflections on Christmas

Well, the holidays are just about over. New Years has no appeal for me. It's a great holiday if you're single but I don't and can't stay up late enough to enjoy the party.
I'll probably take the tree down tomorrow. I love to get an early Christmas tree but a few days after Christmas Day I want it down, the decorations packed away and my living room cleaned. It will take months to get the fir needles out of the room. Just when you think they're gone in March or April and - move the sofa and find some more.
The kids are happy with what Santa brought them. Hubby is happy and I am happy. The family visits were lovely. Everyone ate too much- even me and as a diabetic I have to be really careful. I even slipped a bit and my sugars are a little high. Oh well, Christmas cookies are only around once a year and I had to try a couple.
I'm keeping up with the morning class for the kids. We started again today. I don't want them to have off 10 days and not write their names or have any counting or math. I'm trying to keep it fun and besides, they don't look at it as real school anyway so they both enjoy the routine.

Merry Christmas!

To everyone a Blessed and Merry Christmas!

First day of Christmas vacation!!!

Well, it's the first day of Christmas vacation for the children. We baked gingerbread for a gingerbread house, watched a little of the movies, "A Christmas Carol "and "It's a Wonderful Life". The kids told us the first movie was too creepy and the second is too boring. No snow this Christmas, just cold rain, rain, rain. The kids went out to play and we had a silly muddy mess.
It's now time for sweet tea and cookies.

Being an advocate for your child during an IEP meeting.

I have requested a new IEP for my son. After reading this article about IEP meetings, I feel that I can approach the team with open ears and be an advocate for my son.
I feel that I am realistic of his needs and I look forward to the results of his assessment.

Chicago visit

Hubby and I took the kids to Chicago today for a day trip. The ride is only 1 1/2 hours and it was such a nice day today. Perfect for a road trip. I wanted to show my children the "old " neighborhood. I wanted to show they where mommy went to school. I showed my kindergarten at Immaculate Heart of Mary Parish.
Now, I haven't been in this area for years and all of my family has long since moved to the suburbs, but I felt quite nostalgic. I remember the streets, the church, my old home on Kimball.
We took a skyline photo of my daughter with her Troll for school. We ate lunch in the Ukrainian Village. (20th and Chicago Ave.) and we had a nice walk down some lovely streets.
All in all, a very nice day.

Half Day School

We are starting a new routine at home. After meeting with my son's teachers and principle, we have decided to change his schedule to half days.
He stays home with me in the morning and we work on his handwriting and simple math skills. He will continue to receive speech. I will then bring him to school afternoons so that he will be with his friends for 2 1/2 hours.
He won't have any bus rides or cafeteria time which is too noisy and stressful.
We just started so wish us luck.
Any homeschool sites that you recommend would be appreciated.

Bonding

Here is a piece about bonding exercises. Special needs or not, all children can use more bonding.

Blizzard of 2006

We're still digging out. Over 12" of snow.

Snow Day!!!

Is homeschooling the way to go?

After a difficult day and little sleep, I have be wondering if homeschooling is the way to go for my son. Even though I feel and know that he is stronger everyday, school is a major stress for him. From the bus ride to a noisy lunch room to friendship difficulties, he finds it at time overwhelming. Today when I picked him up, he was wet, poopy and looked in such obvious distress. It took all night, a long bath and much cuddles to get him to make eye contact.
If school causes such distress, maybe he needs to stay home with me this year. One more year to develop emotionally. One more year to find his place in our world.
This is one big decision.

Post-Institutionalized children

I read this article about post-institutionalized children and agree with much of it.
Common sense is best. Stay with your children. Let them first bond with you. Don't over stimulate them. Life in an orphanages is very different than life in the US. Walking through the grocery store with my young children the first time was disturbing to them. Too much noise, lights, things to see. We are a nation of stuff and these kids have had nothing.
Baby them. Many of them never had a mommy to pick them up, coo to them and hold the bottle. These children were left in cribs to cry and a bottle was propped. My six year old still loves a baby toy that when pulled sings rock a bye baby. He still likes a warm milk and sugar sippy cup given to him by me like a bottle. My 4 year old still likes to have me put her in a sling. And at 38 lbs. she fits, but it's hard on my back. But she has such joy on her face to be held like a baby, I can't resist. I really encourage baby wearing for your adopted children and all children.

Giving Thanks

I hope everone had a memorable Thanksgiving. We went to one of my sister's and it was a very nice day. Beautiful weather, kids in great moods, delicious food and good company.
I use to find holidays difficult and stressful because of increased behavior problems of my son. But now that he has resolved much of his anger or maybe just learned to trust, we are having such nice visits and I don't worry that we can only stay one hour before a scene erupts.
I'm glad to see that he wants to play with his sister and cousins. I'm thrilled we aren't having such bad eating/ food / control issues.
I'm thankful for good therapists, teachers, family and God for helping my son feel happiness and maybe even love.
I'm thankful for a strong, wonderful husband who takes such good care of us.
I'm thankful for a joy of a daughter.
I'm thankful for a family who supports us with love and time.

Winter is here???

After the wonderful warm weather we had this week, it looks like we have an early taste of winter. Hubby is asking to move south again. 33 degrees and ice and snow make him start his refrain. "Let's go somewhere warm"
I can't stand this weather" I think he is starting to wear me down. He certainly has the kids convinced that there is a magical place to live where it's always warm. Yesterday my daughter asked me why I want to stay here (Wisconsin) and I replied"It's where my family is , honey" I have 2 parents and 7 brother and sisters here in Wisconsin. Numerous cousins and aunts in the Chicago area where I was born. It feels like home.
But my daughter wise to her 4 years replied, "But I'm your family and George and Daddy and Bailey (Our dog).
I can't see where warm weather makes a life better, maybe more comfortable but not better or richer in spirit. But I am wearing down a bit. And bitter cold early winter weather doesn't help.

Fall is here

After a great day in warm 60's weather, I was able to clean up my flower beds and put my garden to rest for the year. I enjoy this part of gardening. I get a sense of completeness. After all of the work of spring and summer to enjoy the gardens I have, I now get to cut everything back and we both can rest. Today it is the normal weather, 40's, and I can sit at the window with a cup of tea and look at everything tidy and ready for winter.

Election Day

To all moms who haven't voted yet, I ask you to try and get to the polls. I don't care how you vote (Well maybe I do, but that doesn't matter)
I ask you to find the time, drag the kids with you and vote. Whether you feel this election is a referendum on the Bush administration, you are angry with the dems or you are voting to have a say in the referendums in your individual state, please vote.
When I went out to vote this morning, my daughter was at my feet behind the curtain of the voting booth, yes, it's distracting but I want her to see that mom votes on election day. She and her brother hear my husband and I discuss the issues and I want them to see that everyone has a voice in our government.

Gotcha Day!

Tomorrow my husband and I will celebrate the children's gotcha day. Gotcha day for those of you who haven't adopted is the day you finalized the child's adoption and you officially "got" them. But for my husband and I, it is the day we "found" our children.
Three years ago we were living in an apartment in Kiev waiting to go back to the Adoption Center and look at all of the books of orphans. Ukraine had the policy that you do not preselect a child to adopt, you find them when in the country.
A date is set and you go with your translator to the Government Adoption Center and meet with a psychologist and look at photos and books from orphanages to select a child to see. You then travel usually by train to the city where the orphanage is and visit the child. You then decide if you would like to adopt the child. If not, back to the Adoption Center in Kiev and back to the books.
We had been in Kiev and selected a 2 year old boy to see. We traveled all night on the train and met with the director of the orphanage to arrange to see the child. I was so excited, scared, eager but when we went to his room we found a very sick, disabled and weak boy. I held him and cried. I was open to adopting a child with many disabilities but this child was not for us. This child needed 24 hour care for the rest of his life and I couldn't do it. I knew this was not to be my son. I still think about this little boy and pray he is cared for and loved.
After returning to Kiev and meeting again with the Adoption Center we were shown a photo of another little boy who had just turned 3. The photo was him in a crib with the saddest look I had ever seen on a child. We said we would see him. Since we had hoped to adopt 2 children, I told them to show me the girls available. Even though it is difficult to find a girl, I knew I wanted to complete out family with a girl and I wanted my husband to have a girl to love and to adore him. We searched but I didn't get any feelings of wanting to see any child until the back of the book one of the last pages was a photo of an infant girl. She was 20 months old now but sick, blind and probably retarded. She was most likely a child of fetal German measles. They encouraged us to skip her but my heart went out to her.
The next day we left by train. The Sunny Orphanage had 300 children 0-3 years old and from what we saw they were very poor. I have traveled a lot in my life but Ukraine was poor.
We met with little Vladdy first, shy with big brown eyes. Small and non -verbal. This sad little boy came to us and I knew that he was meant to be our son.
Later we went to another building to see Masha. They brought her out to the waiting room and I started to weep. A blond pale child with scabs and sores all over her face and body (allergies and exzema) a blind small right eye and low vision left eye and it was evident that this little child couldn't see. But, I knew she was my daughter. Even when my husband said are you sure and the translators said we can find you a better one I knew that she was meant to be ours.
There is so much more I could say, the whole trip and month spent in Ukraine is a book waiting to be written. But tomorrow is the day-Halloween, when we found our children and to me it will always be their Gotcha Day.

Site changes

There will be a few changes to the site. The login for existing members is now a new link at the bottom of the home page.
I have listened to the suggestions for registration and those are in the works. I want the registration process to be quick, easy and painless.
Any other suggestion you have please email me. I am always open to new ideas.

The most perfect day.

Did you ever have one of those most perfect days. I did today. The kids were good in church, they didn't fight all day, even at the pumpkin farm.
The weather was my favorite. A sunny fall day at peak fall colors with a slight breeze. Winter jacket weather but not too cold.
We visited grandma and grandpa after Mass.
Then, after the pumpkin farm and bouncy houses and pony rides, we carved pumpkins and baked pumpkin seeds. We ate caramel apples after supper and still the kids are great. I am very lucky.

Moms from tiny towns

Right now the kids are watching SpongeBob and the hubby is working late. I have had such a busy week that I don't have the time or energy to play games or do something educational with the kids tonight, and of course they are perfectly happy to veg while I work on the computer.
We have a fair at Hamilton HS tomorrow morning to support the Cultural Exchange Club which my niece is in charge of. The kids go to a pumpkin farm with an auntie and I get some down time. Maybe a good chick movie on LMN or Sell House Marathon. I think it's been months since I've had a few hours alone. Yippy!!! I'm looking forward to the Shop till you Drop at Willow Springs in November so that I can register lots of Sussex, Falls, Brookfield and assorted Lake Country moms.

I've had a run of moms registering from tiny, tiny, towns. You know who you are:) The hardest job for me is to find exchange moms for these gals. I have started to write the elementary schools in the town to share the Mommy Time concept and offer brochures and specials so that these moms can find time off.
I just started this but it is helping in some smaller California and Texas towns so I'll keep it up for all moms from more rural areas.

What is a mom like me?

I had a question from a mom who wondered what a mom like me was. Was it "code" for rich and professional?

I told her that I meant it to be a reflection of my home and parenting skills. We are all different in parenting. Ever go to a sports event and see some screaming mom and wonder where she came from? I was recently told that healthy snacks are preferred at school to celebrate birthdays. They recommended rice cakes. What??? These are kids and a rice cake doesn't celebrate anything . I sent fruit snacks. Evil mom.

When I moved to my home 12 years ago, it was an old farm house with wonderful gardens surrounded by corn fields. Now, I am the shabby farm house surrounded by new construction and a golf course community.
Now I have nothing against development but now I look poor by the neighborhood standards. I used to look cute.
My neighbors may think I'm poor and I'm not a mom like them. That would be their loss. I'm a great mom.
Since I have a special needs children, I sometimes think other moms won't understand when my son looks weird or his pants are wet.
I'd like a mom who understands PTSD and RAD and understands what strong sitting is.
My daughter is blind in one eye and I'd like a mom who understands it's ok when she bumps into everything on her right side because she can't see and she is bossy and loud and sometimes a little weird.

A mom like me is a mom who parents like me. Laid back but firm and kind. Non-smoking but not judgmental if you smoke outside.
I want a mom who will give a kid a treat they want and not worry that they will get fat because they play outside and stay active and kids should not worry about those things any way.
I want a mom who understands that kids get dirty. And so do homes with kids.
I want a mom who understands that kids need jobs to feel useful. Just like Thomas the Train! Empty the dishwasher or fold the towels. Give them something to feel important.
A mom like me isn't rich or poor, she just has to parent in a way that I am comfortable with, because this, really , is all that is important.

New changes to the Mommy Time site.

There are a few changes to the Mommy Time site I need to share.
A lot of work has been done to make the site work easier. The submit button is easier and the registration process is easy to understand.

A new leaf was added to the home page flower graphic with a PDF of the Mommy Time Flyer. Anyone can now print the flyer if you would like to post it around town, share with friends and co-workers or bring to a moms club.
Remember to add the coupon code to the flyer so that anyone you share it with can take advantage of an inexpensive registration. This is all part of our word of mouth campaign and it's working great. I have tripled the amount of moms who are signing up each day and we are now in 21 states and reaching more moms every day.

Night time ramblings...

I haven't had much time to write, the kids are in school and having trouble adjusting. At bedtime, they both need extra cuddles and tell me that they don't get enough mommy love. My daughter asked if she could quit school and just stay home and sit on my lap all day. Of course, tomorrow I will tell her it's ok, she can sit on my lap all day and she will, for about 30 minutes and then want to play baseball outside or Go Fish.
And I really want the kids to be outside, it's getting colder and before you know it winter will be here. Ok, I hear you San Diego moms, what winter? Well some of us do have a winter and a *** long one , too.
Hubby would love to move me down south or at least somewhere without snow. We took a drive last year and we looked at other states. But I come from a family of 10 and everyone lives within 30 minutes of each other and I can't see living away from my parents and sisters (7) and 1 brother.
Besides, I like 4 seasons and I don't mind the snow. I just get tired of 6 months of cold weather. 3 would be better. A gal I met at school is from Virginia and said it has the best weather, 4 seasons but very mild. But my life without being around my family would be difficult. I'm rambling...

A note about Mommy Time. I have started Google Ads and it has been fantastic. I am getting a tremendous response and I'm advertising in every state where we have registered moms. The WOM campaign is going great and a few moms have asked me to send brochures so that they can share with their children's school.

Email me if you need a brochure. I can email you a flyer if you prefer.
Register here if you aren't a member.

Mommy Time is growing.

I had a mom ask me how many moms have registered. I told her a few hundred so far. I think that's great since we have only been online a few weeks and this concept is being promoted mainly by word of mouth. I register a few moms every day. It's funny, at first it was the Midwest, Milwaukee, Chicago, Minneapolis that registered in droves. Those areas have slowed down and the east and west coast have taken over. I really don't advertise on the east coast but enough moms told friends and now I get a flood of moms from the northeast.

What I and what most of the moms who email me want is a large database of moms who would be willing to exchange child care if there are local moms available that are like them. No mom is going to drive 40 min. Even if it is a free babysitter. We need a large database of moms every where who can help each other out.

What I want to do and what I am committed to, is the growth of this site so that we can offer moms the Mommy Time they need.
I haven't figured out the best way to reach moms. The Parent Magazine ads are reaching one audience, free classified sites like CL and postaroo are reaching some moms.

But the strongest, most powerful, spreading like lightening way to reach moms is through you! Your sending a letter to your email list asking if anyone wants to join.

I'll keep the registration cheap (coupon MOM, WOM), you send me your friends.

And I promise to keep the info private and never sell out to anyone, if you will trust me with your children's names.

Email about anything

Register here!

They grow up too fast

I was thinking about how school changes everything about my life. I was so into the summer routine. The snack time, outside time, books and games were all at a nice routine that made my children happy and worked well for my schedule.
Now my son is in kindergarten all day and my daughter is in K4 every afternoon. I feel a little lost. I have 2 hours to work, clean & cook and I am a bit out of sorts. Did you ever feel like this?
It feels like they are growing up too fast and leaving me. I look at my daughter helping me in the kitchen and my heart stops, I want her to stay 4 forever. Since I'm an older mom I have friends with grown children. They say that the children do grow up too fast and that I should enjoy all of the attention, adoration and love that the littles ones give because when they are 16 they never talk to you.
I know that I wasn't the most delightful teenager ( It was the 70's) so I have nothing to complain about. I just have to hold these special moments with my little one's in my heart.

Changes to the site.

We are making a few changes to the site. I hope to continue to change it until we get a great operating website.

The feedback and time log will now have more info about the individual moms.

The registration and payment pages will be separated. I have had complaints about a "sticky" submit button. If you are on the site and ANYTHING is problematic, let me know. I try to test everything but little things can slip by.

I'm adding a page with PDF pages that you can print. The first one will be the flyer on Mommy Time. You can then print and post at work, school, shopping.
I have new brochures on Mommy Time. If you would like me to send you a few, email me.
Where I live, my daughters K4 school is having a Shop till You Drop. This is a school fundraiser where any mom with a business can set up a table and promote their business. Ours is in November and I will have a MommyTime table to sign up Waukesha County moms. If anyone would like to do anything like this where you live , I would be glad to sponsor the table if you man it.
I will be registering with the WOM program so I expect a great response!

To join Mommy Time click here.
To email me click here.

Weekend promotion and birthday party.

We are having a weekend promotion for MommyTime. Register for $10.
The response to the ads in Metro Parent magazine have been good at bringing new moms to us. I also have been advertising on mommy blog and autism blog sites. This has been great.

My weekend has been busy with a birthday party for my son. 6 years old. Busy with family and the perfect weather for outdoor entertaining. (except for the bees)
What I want to know is, does a child really need so many toys? My husband and I talked about it last night and I think the best thing is for every new toy, he needs to give me an old one to donate. We live in an old farm house. Cozy and cute with small little rooms. I don't know where to put anymore toys? So my son is now overdosing on Thomas the Train toys, clothes and Bob the Builder tool belts and the Sussex women's SOS will be getting a box of old toys.

A mom who needs help.

Here is a mom who needs prayers and good wishes.

http://23weeks.blogspot.com/

How Mommy Time works

Mommy Time is a child care exchange or co-op. There have been co-op's for years, usually started by a moms club or school to assist in trading baby sitting so that a mom can have time to help at school or get things done that are difficult with children. I started Mommy Time because I got sick. Even though I had parents and sisters to help me, I was overwhelmed by the thought that other moms may not be so fortunate. Besides, I wouldn't mind a few hours each week to get away. Especially since I have a special needs child who's care at times has been exhausting. So I contacted a local web site provider and we put together the Mommy Time template and operation. The basic theme is find a mom like you so I want local moms to find other moms with a similar home. A mom who wants only organic wholesome foods wouldn't want to come to my home. Bless her, but I feed my kids anything. And I wouldn't want to have my kids go to a house with non-stop video game since I send my kids outside to play.
My goal is to find moms to help each other out anywhere it's needed. Small little up north towns or big cities. It will take a while for me to get the word out. I have a very limited ad budget but you can help me with ideas and feedback.

So here is how it works...

After you register your anme, address and answer family questions and you pay for registration. You now will get an email with a Welcome Letter and login information. Login and accept terms, fill in the names and ages of your spouse and children, click DONE. I will see this information and do the background check. Once this is complete you will have access to the secure area. Then when you login you can see the Mommy Time page. The site will list Moms per state and zip code. You will just have your name listed as "Mary Mom" or "Susan Mom" depending on your name. There will be small icons of a boy or girl with ages on them that show what children you have. There are also icons that describe your home, ie smoking, CPR, TV, Toys, etc. Remember those questions I asked you when you registered. This will tell another Mom, is there smoking in your home? Do you let the kids watch TV? Do you have pets? Do you know CPR? Do you have a child with special needs? and what kind?This will help the other Moms decide if they want to contact you. Moms will also have an availability button to turn on or off. Available means that you may be contacted, not that you are available this minute. It just means that you are open to communication with another Mom. Availability off means don't bother me. Maybe you just had surgery and need a few weeks without an exchange. Maybe you are on vacation. If a Mom wants to contact you,they will email you, you give them a tele# or email back and talk. You are getting to know each other. Once you both feel compatible, set up a time for you to have your children cared for or visa vera.There is no identifying info about you until a Mom emails you to discuss an exchange. You give her the info.

You can also see the newsletter, time log and feedback page once you login.

I hope to be able to send the newsletter by email later. I also will revise the Mommy Page once we grow so that you can see border states and find a mom easier.

I welcome any other suggestions. Email me!!!

Join us today and find your Mommy Time!!!

Why women understand Mommy Time.

I had a mom ask me to explain Mommy Time so that her husband understands. He thinks a internet co-op is strange.
My own brother who is 33 and has 3 small children thought it was strange when I proposed the idea. Of course, my sister in law understood. Moms need time off to be better wives, moms and catch their breath. And who better to watch your children than another mom. And when the mom is near you, her kids most likely attend the same schools as yours and you may worship at the same church and shop at the same stores. It's a great fit.
It certainly makes it better that the baby sitting is free, and it beats the pink haired girl who showed up to babysit last week.

Join us today and find your Mommy Time!!!

Extend your membership when you give or get Mommy Time!

To encourage exchanges this weekend, I am offering an extension of membership. This will be useful for all moms who registered early. I will extend the membership to 2 years for any mom who provides or uses Mommy Time this weekend 9/7- 9/10. Just login time and feedback and both moms will get a 1 year extension. Drop an email, make a call and get to know another mom. Find some Mommy Time this week end!

Feedback time

Now that we have been online about 2 weeks, I'd like some feedback.
Come on girls- let me know how the exchanges are working. Are we asking the moms enough questions to match similarities?
Are we making it easy to find another mom? We did change the Mommy Time page to show the city and zip code of the moms.

If you haven't had time to look around the site, I have just posted 2 articles from a mom writer in Tennessee. The articles are in the newsletter and are about parenting and taking time for yourself.

The brochure is just about complete. I had to find a nice photo of a mom for the ad. I couldn't use a photo of me. As you see here, I'm so untypical of a mom of young children it would scare moms away. Here is a photo of me with my son and daughter in the kitchen. Yes, I know I'm older than you thought. Madonna and I are the same age. She is just richer and thinner than I. But I bet I'm happier.